Sorcerer Logo 2

The Official Fairy Tail Wiki Magazine, December 2014

Cover thirty six

Relikz Table of Contents
Relikz | Graphic Designer

Contents 36
1. Cover
2. Table of Contents
3. Technical Updates
4. Sexiest Mage Alive
5. This Month in the Anime
6. This Month in the Manga
7. Raven's Coven
8. Anime Christmas
9. Umneilicious
10. Jakuho's Corner
11. Gate of the Horoscope
12. SuperNatural
13. Fairy Tail and the Chamber of Art
14. Fairy Interview
15. The Last Pollbender
16. Advertisements
Cover thirty six

Wrath Technical Updates
Wrath022 | Writer


So indifferent. I hate the holidays. People either forget my birthday because it's near Christmas, or in the case of this year, I get shoved off to a country I hate for 10 days. It's whatever. ( .___.)

I don't have much to say about this month. It seemed like everyone was on their period, men included. I'm going to blame this on the stress of the yuletide season, but jeez, pack some manpons (tampons for dudes, just in case you didn't get it). Anyway, Fi got the answers to last month's puzzle (Living Magic and Aries) and claimed her prize for chat moderator rights, which got extended from 4 hours to like 37 because everyone loves her. ( ^_^)

This month's puzzle is super easy if you know me. So sucks to be you if you don't. =P

I'd make a deal with her devil.

—Wrath to everyone who listened

Now off with you~!!

P.S. Please join the Grammar Guild. It needs members. Badly. Thank you for reading this PSA. (^_^ )

Recent Wiki Changes Discussion Report
The following changes have occurred on the wiki: Announcements and discussion results:
  • Atlas Flame got a quote change per a discussion I opened.
  • I opened a discussion about both Ice Trail and Zero, because their placement on the wiki was wonky and inconsistent; some characters had it in history for themselves, others had their histories destroyed and made into synopsis format for shit that didn't even, and won't even, occur there. It turned into hell in a handbasket pretty quickly, and I don't know why. Ice Trail had one thing decided for it, while Zero had a completely different option chosen for it. I dunno, guess it's a sin to try and question what just doesn't make sense. But hey, it's done and over with now. Everything goes in the history section, because what happens before Chapter 1 of the main FT is macro-history for the whole series.
  • This is just an honorable mention, but our own Ultraprime2 has resigned from being the P&S Chairman, effective New Year's Day. I'd like to just put this on here and recognize all the hard work he's done for the wiki over the years, and I hope you can all too. He's not leaving the wiki; he's just retiring from editing, basically, and will still moderate chat and work for the magazine. He worked hard on the wiki (probably harder than most of us combined) during his career as an editor, and he deserves to be appreciated. Good luck, Prime.

Image Changes:

  • None.

IamJakuhoRaikoben Sexiest Mage Alive
IamJakuhoRaikoben | M. Editor

Gildarts Clive SMA
Biography December's Sexiest Mage Alive is none other than Gildarts Clive! Gildarts is the strongest Mage in Fairy Tail (besides Makarov) and the oldest S-Class Mage in the guild. He uses Crash as his main form of Magic, and Cana Alberona is his dirty little love child.
Interesting Trait Total Slut
Guild Fairy Tail symbol
Best Quote "Who's kid are you?!" (Gildarts Clive to Cana Alberona)
Sexiness Full StarFull Star.svgFull Star.svgFull Star.svgFull Star.svgFull Star.svgFull Star.svgFull Star.svgHalf Star.svgEmpty Star.svg
Who should be January's Sexiest Mage Alive?

The poll was created at 22:54 on January 1, 2015, and so far 256 people voted.

Wrath This Month in the Anime
Wrath022 | Writer

TMITA Header - December14

December 2014

Le Sexy Me: *Watches Fairy Tail* Pffttt...

TMITA - Ep211

"Shake me! Shake me up! Me? Cancer! You? Let's move!"

Le Sexy Me: D'uhhh...

*much later on*

"Our two hearts...are melting-kani."

Le Sexy Me: Dear god, what did I get myself into...

So... with that out of the way, let's get this rolling...literally. More or less, Cancer calls Gray out on a dance battle, emphasizing less on the dance and more on the gay undertones. Cancer kicks Gray's ass in the dance battle in the beginning, after which Cancer, trying to level the playing field, takes the wicked witch of the east's spare red boots and cuts them up, effectively turning Gray into Michael Jackson, Portgas D. Ace's wannabe, and a straight-up fag.

And here I thought that Misk kept these photos private for me. Deceitful wife. >:C Anyway, so Gray goes fag and ditches his shame, which allows him to both captivate the audience of cardboard cutouts and Cancer himself. Gray always gets stuck with the homos. I would say poor guy, but it's always to our amusement, and boy was I amused-kani kani. :D Ultimately, Gray kicks Cancer's ass, but much to his dismay it isn't literally.

Anyway, at the same time that this is all happening, Cana defeats Scorpio, Levy starts to fail even more at Capricorn's quiz, Natsu finds an entrance to Leo's hiding spot and Libra tries to let Yukino in on something that apparently only she is aware of, and it's probably important. Let's be honest, the only serious part of this entire arc is Leo and Libra. >_> Everything else is so disappointing I've only got humor to extend. So ultimately, Gray completely captivates Cancer with a duet ice skating dance then kicks his ass and sends him back to the Celestial Spirit World, forcing Cancer to promise never to speak of him bringing back what's been dead for 5 years. After that, Hisui and Arcadios find a mysterious thirteenth door to have appeared (fucking shocker) and enter it under the pretense of not wanting to be useless. Too late guys.

Meanwhile, back in Wrath's room, it's time for some kani-kani if you catch my drift.

TMITA - Ep212

There are no quotes to describe my reaction to this episode. It was just gay from start to finish.

Boring. Boring boring boring boring boring. I fell right the fuck to sleep when I watched this.

Anyhow, the episode starts off with Levy and Capricorn finishing their quiz battle, which Levy wins by exclaiming the name of the one she has romantic feelings for, which is Gajeel. She didn't actually say it so we could hear (the sound cut out), but come on, we all know she said it. ;D Meanwhile, Virgo tries to torture Lucy with fucking mayonnaise and mustard of all damn things, and although I appreciated the "suspense", this childish bullshit needs to stop. I was expecting big things out of Virgo, and by far she's the biggest damn let-down of all the Eclipse Spirits. Cancer was at least funny for fuck's sake (-kani-kani, aye!). To make things even more retarded, Natsu, Wendy and the two pain in the ass cats stumble upon an eclipse version of Ophiuchus, who is by far only out-shadowed by Virgo as the most retarded. She has turned from a giant, black serpent into a female "nasty nurse" who likes to get people sick. She tortures everyone with dental treatments, band-aid tears (okay, those hurt. That qualifies), and something about acid being shot from a giant syringe. To be honest, I'm surprised she didn't try and give Natsu a prostate exam. Oh wait...

...maybe she did.

Aries and Juvia eventually duke it out though, and any coolness Aries had was thrown right out the window when she said that she has basically become a delinquent street racer. I will admit that I lol'd when she got sensitive about her tit size, though. Obviously she got reduced to like this petulant 15 year old girl who is trying to rebel against her parents. I liked her more when she was trying to make people say sorry and saying that everyone should be crushed. But whatever. Anyway, Juvia is weak from all the walking in the desert (dehydrated, motherfuckers) and Aries takes advantage of this and beats her up with her exploding horns of doom and all the sheep Little Bo Peep couldn't find. Juvia eventually destroys Aries' Magic Four Wheeler and rehydrates with its radiator water, which allows her to defeat Aries and send her back to the spirit world.

At the same time, Hisui and Arcadios travel down that thirteenth corridor within Astral Spirytus and talk about how the Celestial Globe for Liberum must be with Leo, and surmise that he might be up to something other than Liberum. After that, we see Sagittarius challenge Erza to whatever their gay little challenge is going to be. Oh, I just can't fucking wait to see how pitiful this is going to be.

Long story short, best part of the episode was Levy beating Capricorn in the quiz battle by answering the question of who does she have romantic feelings for (obvs Gajeel :3). I grinned like the dumbest bastard ever. :D

TMITA - Ep213

Go Cat-jeel, go.

For everyone's sake I'm just going to cut this short. It was stupid to the nth degree. I'm a big fan of Harry Potter and it's considered disrespect to ride a centaur like it's a mere mule, so seeing Sagittarius being either BDSM whipped or broken in (your call. Half man, half horse. ( ^_^)) irked me. I had hope for maybe a real battle...but all that got smashed last episode so whatever. >_>

I don't feel like rambling on and on about the crap, so I'll just point out the only highlight of the episode, which is Ophiuchus being revealed to be Astral Spirytus itself and Loke getting ready to execute his grand plan. I think so long as he gets perfect freedom for himself he doesn't really care.

P.S. lel at Cat-jeel

TMITA - Ep214

*Insert funny quote here*

Okay, this episode wasn't too bad until it got to the end. Basically what it amounts to is Leo uses the globe to perform Liberum again and it starts doing some wonky laser-firing shit which stops Wendy, Happy and female Happy from doing anything worthwhile. Meanwhile, Natsu and Leo go at it and boy, Leo kicks ass. Seriously, like, he did better than I was expecting, but that's sort of what made the end disappointing; don't get me wrong, it was interesting and the cliffhanger got me sort of piqued again, but overall, eh.

Black Fire Dragon Mode

Black Flame Faggot Mode peeps

So Leo can basically absorb light sources, which includes, but is supposedly not limited to, fire that is not Dark Regulus (which actually got a name, btw. Happy about that). So in essence Leo rapes Natsu's asshole much like Ophi did a few episodes back, until Natsu gets sick of Leo's shit and eats up all his flames and gets Black Flame Faggot Mode. Yes, that's right. Black Flame Faggot Mode. It gives Natsu the power to tap into the potential of his manga counterpart and access Dragon Slayer's Secret Art: Faggot Destruction Technique, which uses his Nakama Power reserves from both adaptations to defeat opponents he would normally be outclassed by in one hit. But Hisui at least gets our interest circulating again and hints that Ophiuchus may be the mastermind behind all this. I sort of think this is going to be another 12-13 episodes based on the logic of she's trying to eclipse-form the CSK and revive the Eclipse Spirits in a more useful, less gay form, but that's just hoping. It'd make the arc better for sure, but we're all so sick of it at this point that no matter what they do we just want Sun Village (which I'm dredding), so gg anime. Alternatively, she could just be trying to suck up the strength and powers of the 12 Eclipse Spirits for her own, hence why it had to be in Astral Spirytus, but anyway, see you guys next month.

God This Month in the Manga
Real Godisme | Writer

TMITM Header - December14
This Month in the Manga

November 2014

Sup bitches. This month, there were only 2 chapters since I did 411 last month. So unfortunately my article will be rather small this month.


Yeah well screw you whores too e_e!

TMITM Ch 412
Mard defeated

I don't know why, but I find this hysterical.

After pounding Mard's face in last chapter, Mard is completely and utterly defeated with a look on his face that makes me laugh every time I see it. Gray's demon form fades away and Gray then states its not over until they destroy E.N.D's book. Natsu interjects and states that Igneel told him to bring it to him so he can't let Gray destroy it. The two have a dramatic stare off before FACE finally activates and we get back to the present timeline. Queue everyone in panic before Makarov realizes he is too late and thus there is no more need for Lumen Histoire and we will not be seeing what it does for probably another 100+ chapters. Queue some overly gratuitous Lucy ass and magic power starts fading everywhere, causing Lisanna to lose her take over and become naked, much to the pleasure of Warren. Doranbolt takes off his coat and gives it to her much to my dismay. All over, magic begins to disappear as Mard says that soon, E.N.D. shall rise and Humans will be defenseless. As everything begins to seem hopeless, Acnologia comes crashing down and Igneel appears over him, saying not to give up hope.

Elsewhere, Blue Pegasus attempts to destroy a FACE with their ship, but prove unsuccessful. As they begin falling from losing magical power, something closes in from a distance and smashes through a FACE. Ichiya questions what it was with Jenny thinking it was a bird, but Wendy senses that it was Grandeeney. FACEs begin to disappear from all over as the Dragon Slayers begin to sense their dragons and then...

All the dragons appear and destroy all the FACES. Looking into the sky, all Natsu can say is...neat. This chapter was okay. I didn't fanboy it like everyone else because of the dragons appearing. I was disappointed in the lack of Lumen Histoire and the fact that the FACES were taken out so easily. I would have liked to see them struggle a bit before the faces were destroyed. Meh chapter.

TMITM Ch 413

Why yes Mashima, I do like magical police women in mini skirts. Just thought I would throw that out there. So we start with all the dragons back smashing FACES left and right before we flash over to everyone looking at the FACE screen to see that every FACE has been destroyed. With nothing more to worry about, everyone celebrates their victory. Still on the ground though, Sting is shocked to learn that Weisslogia is still alive. Igneel says that Grandeeny, Skiadrum and Metalicana are alive as well and were all inside their dragon slayers due to a sealing spell. Natsu then pulls a Natsu and asks how Igneel got inside him as he doesn't remember eating him. Yes, this is the man destined to save the entire world, being that he is the main character. Igneel states that the reason they did this was to prevent the dragon slayers from becoming Dragons like Acnologia, as he is about to state a second reason though, Acnologia gets up and their battle resumes. Igneel once again says to get the book of E.N.D. but Gray once again stands in Natsu's way. Igneel and Acnologia clash and Acnologia reveals his motives....he just wants to destroy everything. Really? Nothing like remake the world in his ideal image? Just destroy everything? K.... So back to Gray and Natsu, they keep having a stare off until suddenly, the book disappears. Suddenly, stepping forward, Zeref appears with the book, stating it is his and he is taking it back.

Not a bad chapter. I rather enjoyed it. Big implications in this one. We have always been told Zeref turned Acnologia into a dragon but here we are told that Natsu and the others could have become dragons even without Zeref's magic. I'm excited to see where things go from here. Until next time.

Fairy Raven Avatar Raven's Coven
FairyRaven | Writer

Raven's Coven

Hello everyone. Welcome to another, brand new, Raven's Coven! Without further delay, let us talk about the character YOU chose to be featured, which is none other than...


???: Hold it right there! I mean, Ho Ho Ho!

...Who the hell are you?

???: Why, I'm Santa! Your fellow editors invited me over to make sure your column would be all Christmassy and festive!

ಠ_ಠ screw them. I am the most Christmassy person I know. I always celebrate special issues!

Santa: Your Halloween column-or lack thereof- says otherwise! Ohohoho!

...How do you know that?

Santa: Don't you know what they say? He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake... I'm always watching you, Raven!

...That's way too creepy. Well, I guess it can't be helped. Welcome to the Coven dude.

Santa: Hohohoho! So, how can I help you?

...I know! I never thought I'd ever say this, but Santa, today I'm going to judge you! You are the face of this month's Coven. Let's begin, shall we?


So it's funny because you're supposed to be based on St. Nick, who is always portrayed way thin and ascetic, to the point of anorexia, and never actually wears red(green is more of his color), and yet these days you're always portrayed fat with red clothes. Why is that? Is it a subliminal message by society towards consumers, to get them to think that getting fat this time of year is something good?

Actually Raven nothing of the sort. I just stock fat during the year because I burn all those extra calories during New Year's eve. Do you know how exhausting it is, visiting all those houses all around the world to deliver the presents?

...Oh. I see. Okay but what's with the color red? Red is supposed to be the color of anger, emotion and passion! Something like..

or even something like...

would be a more accurate depiction, no?

I'm supposed to look child-friendly, not scare children, or turn on male adults >_>

Whatever. You're just a fat red creepy stalker who forgot to get me a PS4 last Christmas.

4/10 Karma is a bitch Santa!

But this has nothing to do with my appearance! At least try to make it seem like a fair judgement!



So, let me get this straight Santa. I don't like your attitude. In fact, I don't get what people love about you.

Does this have to do with that PS4 you wanted?

No, I'm serious! You're such a Mary Sue(or Gary Stu, more accurately)! One cannot simply be so happy and jolly all the time without suffering from some kind of mania, or other personality disorder! Especially during your most stressful days of year, near New Year's Eve, it's impossible to be so cheerful with all that workload, or at least not without meds.

B-but I'm supposed to be a Saint!

Saints are humans too ಠ_ಠ but anyway, I guess I can cut you some slack. You are pure, innocent, selfless, loving and just, since you reward the children who try to be good. You may be a Gary Stu but you're still a good guy.

You make me blush Raven!

(I know! PS4 here I come!)

5/10 A pretty good guy.


I'm a fan of Santa's abilities. Somehow he manages to fly around the world in nanosecs and deliver all those presents in all those houses! And let's not forget collecting intel on every single kid, whether it's good or bad and where it lives! Also, making all those presents! Wonderful!

Actually Raven, you have to thank my deers for the speed of the sleigh and present delivery! As for the intel and gift making & wraping, it's all my elves who do that!

...So, you're just an ordinary human who just eats cookies and drinks milk, hogging the glory for the work done by all his employees, while they get nothing in return?

It sounds bad when you put it like this... consider this, though! They do get something in return! What about all those happy faces in the children's faces when they see their presents? There's no better reward than that!

You're full of shit and you can't convince me otherwise. You suck, and so do your abilities -_-

2/10 At least he's immortal


Santa is the face of Christmas, this is undeniable. He's even more popular than Jesus, whose birth we are supposed to celebrate during that time of the year. Why do you think that is, Santa?

I spend my Christmas holidays giving away presents, for free! Did Jesus do that? No! Also, Atheists don't believe in him, but they still want their presents, so if you consider all the above, it's no wonder I'm so popular!

...So your popularity is based on human greed and self-interest?

...You could say that.

...That sucks. Well, that still doesn't erase the fact that it's all about you.

10/10 Santa IS Christmas


Santa is pretty important in our modern society, but I'm still unsure whether his importance is harmful or beneficial. Thanks to him, a holiday that used to be all about selflessness, love, charity and humanity is now all about materialism, corporate greed, and domination by the media.

Hold it right there, dear. I am what society wants me to be. Also, don't forget that while I am indeed used for materialistic purposes, I also symbolize charity, love, and other christmassy values. Do not forget that I give presents, for free! Also, I give children hope that things will get better for them, and I also motivate them to be good!

...Well, I never looked at it that way. I'm still conflicted when it comes to you, but I can accept that you're not all that bad!

5/10 Conflicted

Overall Santa, as a character, you score a whopping 5.2/10, achieving an all-time low rating in the Coven!


...Oh man, I ruined my chances to get a PS4 for Christmas, didn't I?

...Raven, honesty and bravery are things I value greatly, and you certainly displayed both of them today. There may have been times you have been naughty, but you certainly are a very good boy, and deserve the PS4 I'm about to give you this year.

Oh Santa, thank you! It's true what they say about Christmas Magic isn't it!


....Figures -_- it's a good thing I saved money this year, I guess. I ain't need no Santa! Let's see what the rest of the SM staff has to say about him though...


Possible child rapist.

Someone didn't like sitting on Santa's lap as a child...


Fat. Fake. Festive :P

Reminds me of you in every way possible ;D

Ultraprime2 Avatar

Satan's name rearranged.



Fat gift giver

How long did it take you to think of that? 1 second? >_>


Jolly red stalker.




No response huh? ( ._.)

Y'all whores be getting coal for Christmas, you know that right? At least I'll have some company ;D

Should future covens feature the character discussed (like in this one) or not?

The poll was created at 22:53 on January 1, 2015, and so far 55 people voted.

Well, that was this month's Coven! Take care, you guys! Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Next month, the Coven will be back to normal, with Erza's interview coming up next. See you all then!

Ultraprime2 Avatar Anime Christmas
Ultraprime2 | Writer

Anime Christmas Logo

Welcome to this seasonal issue of Anime Christmas.

I'm not gonna tell you guys again that I dropped the Fairy Tail manga from my reading list, cause I've done it enough. This article is this month's replacement for The Earth Land Chronicles.

This article was inspired by all those memes and images we see of the anime take on Santa Claus. Given my yearly tradition of changing my avatar for this holiday in spite of not celebrating it, I thought it might be cool to write an article about it for the magazine.

So, this content isn't really gonna be offensive, but it'll be NSFW so if you're there at this moment (or in class), you should probably come back later.

So now,

It's time to shout "yo yo yo" as you reinvent the traditional Santa Claus phrase for this Christmas season. But are you like me and everyone else older than 10 and don't believe in him? You most likely are but then let's wonder for a bit why we still advertise him amongst ourselves when there are no children involved.

I speak, of course, of the traditional Santa attire worn upon many an avatar upon Fairy Tail Wiki. Though some of our fair members choose simply to open an editing program and place a red hat upon their existing avatar of choice, others choose to change entirely (arguably not always for the better). Others opt not to change at all, and that's of course their decision.

The origin of the modern Santa suit comes from Thomas Nast, who originally drew the jolly old chimney-slider in a tan-colored suit. Said artist later changed it to red, a change which has since become the recognized color for the Christmas icon, due in no small part to heavy Coca-Cola advertisements, red and white being the primary colors of the massive multinational brand recognized for their delicious, tooth-destroying soft drinks..

Of course, you guys are not here to learn about the origin of this but let's ask ourselves something...what is it about Christmas season that makes a lot of us anime fans reinvent it to suit our desires?

Well, let's start with what we already know about anime and its origin. To do this, we'l use an example of something I'm sure a colorful vegetable of ours knows well...

While I wouldn't call it "distortion" per se, there certainly is a difference between the media over the typical portrayal of Satan between biblical works and Hataraku. Similarly, we've got the same thing going with Santa Claus, as our anime friends here can show you.

Yeah, there's definitely a ton of this going on, and certainly it's not restricted to the holiday season characters either. But more to the point, it's always happened since the boom of the internet and the melding of cultures across the world. We as anime fans have kinda just took it and ran with it, creating the best of both worlds.

Of course, fans aren't the only ones who've done this. Those behind out favorite anime have done the same thing in some way or another. Whenever there is a group in an anime celebrating Christmas, you can expect to see the Santa suit worn by a main character or two. More often than not, you'll see the female characters dropped into a suit featuring a miniskirt and much like modern swimwear for those with the body to pull it off, that suit'll be split into two pieces.

Sexy Santa Suits in anime are there for fanservice purposes. Having an actual fat, bearded Santa in an anime wouldn't fit too well with the style of these anime so having a character dressed in that manner fits better. And lets face it, what series doesn't give in to a little fanservice these days? So they put a character in a Santa suit and make them look all good for the fans. I don't really have a problem with it. Especially with FT, we are getting fanservice one way or the other so why not celebrate the holidays with the fanservice.

Real Godisme

I believe he has hit the hammer on the nail in this case. Shall we take a look?

But that's enough girls in Santa suits...wait nevermind, there's no such thing as enough. Here, have more.

Interestingly, or perhaps not, there does appear to be a lack of anime males in Santa suits. A Google search will, slightly before New Years Eve, return about 9,050,000 results when searching for "anime girl santa". Would anyone care to venture a guess as to how many results turn up when searching for "anime guy santa"? Well, that search yielded about 1,690,000 results. Why the despairity? I could blame the "patriarchal, sex-dominated, male-run society" we live in but I'm not a complete loser, so I won't.

But, I will say that more of that wouldn't be a problem if we had more, especially for the ladies we've all come to know. One of them recently decided to speak up on this.

Well since our wiki is so pervy beyond redemption, you people can go imagine some sort of fantasy of what you want your Santa to give you as "presents" ( -_-) We have such a horrible lack of sexy young man in Santa suits! We need MOAR. I mean seriously has anyone did a Google search?! All I found was sexy girls in Christmas clothes. And as far as I know, I'm not as diverse as some (SPOILER ALERT for whoever needs it) Avatar characters in my sexual orientation, so I'm not gonna fall for those sexy babes. I want sexy guys. RAWRRRRR


Any opposition?

Yeah, I didn't think so. In the end people, just go out and enjoy your holiday season, and if you're in the mood, put on a Santa suit. Not all of us (some exceptions) will fill it out perfectly, but that's kinda why they make different sizes. Go out and be that sexy Santa. Make someone's Christmas wish come true!

Ho Ho Ho :D


Couldn't have said it better myself.

Why do you think Ultra changes his avatar each year around Christmas?

The poll was created at 22:49 on January 1, 2015, and so far 84 people voted.

Till next time, guys!

Umnei Umneilicious
Umnei | Writer


Hello everyone! I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas this year and a Happy New Year to all! Here's this month's comic to close off the year!

Oh, and I apologize for how shoddy this month's comic is. I usually have better scans and pencil crayons to color but since I'm on holiday vacation, I was very limited with my resources :P Nonetheless, hopefully, we all have a cooler, crazier, sexier, and awesomer year ahead! Happy 2015!

IamJakuhoRaikoben Jakuho's Corner
IamJakuhoRaikoben | M. Editor

Jakuho's Corner Christmas
Featured Flash

MDM: YO EVERYONE! Its Me again ( ^_^)/

Everyone: Boo MDM, GO AWAY! We want JAKKY! We want JAKKY! We want JAKKY!

MDM: ( =_=) You guys DO know that Jakky is actually Jakuhoe, right?

Everyone: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?! We thought it was someone cooler and reliable!! What a let down .. well then, WE WANT MDM! WE WANT MDM! WE WANT MDM!

MDM: So I'm the "Plan B" ( _ _) that hurts- .. BUT REGARDLESS! Here you have the FF you were waiting for!

Milky: Don't get too excited .. no one was waiting for it other than my sister for some random reason. SO, just give us the FF and go back to your Sweat-shop and work overtime on the next one.

MDM: hai ( T^T) ...

Click Here Bitchez!!!

MDM: So, as you saw, the sound system was messed up because I was trying a new flash software .. it turns out, technology advancements are not my thing. REGARDLESS!! Hope you enjoyed it and hope I can put together a better and longer one next month. CYA! Btw, Santa is not real.

Dear Jakky
Banging Your Mom

Dear Jakky,

See, I have this problem: I'm always getting laid and no one else around me is, and I feel like my life is in danger! Their hatred is just becoming too much to bare, and I feel like they're going to end up lynching me, and since you would have experience with that, what do I do??? DX

P.S. Racism slightly intentional. ( .__.)

Sincerely, Banging Your Mom

Banging Your Mom,

Getting laid is awesome - like really, really awesome. But living is so much better. And don't let any guys in turbans fool you, when you die, there won't be a million virgins waiting for you. Normally, I'd tell you to just lie and tell your friends that you aren't getting laid anymore, but if you are getting laid as much as you say, then I doubt they'd believe you. So, alternatively, tell them that your girlfriend gave you Herpes. I promise they'll be much less envious of your sex life.

Sincerely, Jakky


Confined in Chat

Dear Jakky,

We happen to have a complete loser lurking around chat. Let's refer to him as "Mister 0". He uses socks to evade bans. Would you oppose us getting rid of him by banning him forever and ever?

From, Confined in Chat

Confined in Chat,

Let me answer your question with a question. If douchebags like him weren't around, then who would we use to make us feel better about ourselves? :D

Sincerely, Jakky


Awkward Across Asia

Dear Jakky,

My recent plan to confess to a girl I liked was skewered by her absence from our place of work. 31-Dec-2014 would have been the perfect day for doing that, as it marked the end of the calendar year. Should I wait for another special day or should I simply say what I want to say on any given day after the return from vacation?

From, Awkward Across Asia

Awkward Across Asia,

If a girl likes you, then she likes you. She won't give a damn what day you ask her out because she'll just be glad that you did. On that same token though, if she finds you repulsive, she'll find you repulsive every single day of the year - special or not.

Sincerely, Jakky


Someone in a galaxy Far Far Away

Dear Jakky,

I know a person who pretends to be a complete "cool dude" but has never even seen a single Star Wars film. How would you suggest I get this person to watch at least one of these cinematic wonders?

From, Someone in a galaxy Far Far Away

Someone in a galaxy Far Far Away,

Well, firstly, you've got it all wrong. The fact that he hasn't seen a single Star Wars film is precisely what makes him a "cool dude." But to answer your question, tell him there's boobs in it. Boobs are enough to make any man watch any movie ever. Why do you think Titanic was so successful?

Sincerely, Jakky


The King of Uncool

Dear Jakky,

I'm contemplating starting a Tumblr account. What kind of stuff would you suggest I base my blog around?

From, The King of Uncool

The King of Uncool,

Hmm... well, for some reason I have the strangest feeling that you are incredibly dull. So, I'd suggest basing your blog on any and everything that has nothing to do with you. ^__^

Sincerely, Jakky


Sailor of the Blue Sea

Dear Jakky,

I have gained 20 lbs for eating too much food on a party. What should I do? - Sailor of the Blue Sea

Sailor of the Blue Sea,

The only logical thing to do in that situation - kill yourself. Just go to the nearest Walmart, buy a hunting rifle and kill yourself... or you could go on a low carb diet for a few days. Your choice. :3

Sincerely, Jakky

Thanks a lot to everyone who sent in questions! If you have a problem you need help with, email Jakky at And a special thanks to the incredibly talented Monkey.D.Me who does the Featured User flashes every month!! Btw, the next issue marks the 4th Anniversary of the Sorcerer Magazine's creation!!! Look forward to an extra special issue. ^__^

Ultraprime2 Avatar Gate of the Horoscope
Ultraprime2 | Writer

Gate Logo
Welcome to Gate of the Horoscope! This is the last edition for the year 2014, so I'm here to tell you guys how 2015 will be for you with my amazing powers. After all, they don't call me the King of Uncool for nothing!
Aries Emblem ARIES
(March 21 - April 19)
There are lessons to be learnt before moving onto the next level in your life. Keep a balance between yourself and the others in your life.

(April 20 - May 20)
Taurus Emblem
This is a year for rational thinking. You'll probably do a bit more renovating and socializing than you're used to. Don't be afraid though.

Gemini Emblem GEMINI
(May 21 - June 20)
It might be stressful dealing with bosses at work. Of course, help will be at arms length. Your creative and artistic energy is at its best this year.

(June 21 -July 22)
Cancer Emblem
♪So no one told you life was gonna be this way♪
♪Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.♪

♪It's like you're always stuck in second gear♪
♪And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year but...♪
♪I'll be there for you♪
♪When the rain starts to pour♪
♪I'll be there for you♪
♪Like I've been there before♪
♪I'll be there for you♪
♪'cause you're there for me too...♪

Leo Emblem LEO
(July 23 - August 22)
2015 may very well be a hard year for your, but always remember that there are people out there looking out for you.

(August 23 - September 22)
Virgo Emblem
Under-priced. Small. Mediocre. This horoscope was sponsored by Umnei's vacation house.

Libra Emblem LIBRA
(September 23 - October 22)
Long standing issues will get resolved. But you may experience some turmoil along the way.

(October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio Emblem
You could definitely meet someone along the way. Be sure to spend some quality time with them.

Sagittarius Emblem SAGITTARIUS
(November 22 - December 21)
Avoid people who upset you or remind you of the bad things you wish to forget. Fresh offers are in the cards.

(December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn Emblem
Clean out any and all unwanted elements in your life. You don't need to be aggressive cause that could lead to more such elements. Don't get so emotional.

Aquarius Emblem AQUARIUS
(January 20 - February 18)
It's a good day to start new projects. Don't start any gossip though.

(February 19 - March 20)
Pisces Emblem
Do not carry any extra burden on your shoulders. The days will bring pleasure and relief.

IamJakuhoRaikoben SuperNatural
IamJakuhoRaikoben | M. Editor

Hello, everyone! Last month I featured Lucy and I created a poll to ask you guys' opinion on who I chose to portray her (Hayden Panettiere). I posted the results of that poll below. 50.7% of you thought it was a good choice. 34% of you thought it was okay. And 15.3% of you thought it was bad. My choice for Lucy got much better reception than my choice for Natsu. Awesome! ^__^ And once again, to the 15.3% of you who didn't like the choice... you can go fuck yourself. ಠ_ಠ
Super Natural
Gray prof Nick Jonas
Gray Fullbuster Nick Jonas
The person I picked to portray Gray is a singer/actor named Nick Jonas. Now, for all of my fellow Americans, I know the fact that I even suggested a Jonas brother is horrifying, but Nick's trying to branch out from that irritating Jonas-image. Give the poor guy a chance. >__< With that being said, I think Nick is a pretty good fit for Gray. He's around Gray's height, he's muscular, but still thin enough to match Gray's body type. He has dark hair, and even though he's currently rocking his hair short, he could grow it out to play Gray. Although, I think a short hair style would be fine for Gray as well. Aside from his looks, I believe Nick would be a good fit because I've seen him act a bit and I think he could capture Gray's persona well enough. And as an added bonus, he's only 22, so he's not too much older than Gray. So, what do you guys think? Is he a good match for Gray? Do you know an actor who'd fit Gray better? Tell me in the comments! >:D
Is Nick Jonas a good match for Gray?

The poll was created at 22:55 on January 1, 2015, and so far 165 people voted.
Who should I feature next month?

The poll was created at 22:55 on January 1, 2015, and so far 183 people voted.

IamJakuhoRaikoben Managing Editor
IamJakuhoRaikoben | M. Editor

Sorcerer Logo 2 Fairy Interview
Sorcerer Magazine | Staff Project

A column where questions are asked to different characters in the Fairy Tail Series and are answered by the Sorcerer Magazine Staff
Logo Fairy Tail right

This month's questions are:

  • Do you believe in Santa Claus?
  • Did you get anything for Christmas?
  • When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
  • What's your New Year's resolution?
IamJakuhoRaikoben IamJakuhoRaikoben | M. Editor
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: Pyuuun!
Interviewer: Wait, what?
Plue: Pyuuun!
Interviewer: I don't understand.
Natsu: I can translate - he said "Hell no!"
Interviewer: You can understand him?
Natsu: More or less yeah.
Interviewer: Then please help me out here.
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Pyuun! Pyuun!
Natsu: He said he got a big ass knife.
Interviewer: O-Okay.
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Pyuunn!
Natsu: He said your mother, your sister, and your daughter.
Interviewer: Are you sure your translating right?
Natsu: Positive.
A: Pyuun!
Natsu: He said that old bitch had it coming.
Interviewer: Your making this up!
Natsu: I swear I'm not!
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: Pyuuun!
Natsu: He said he plans to take over the world.
Interviewer: Wha-
Plue: *stabs Natsu and the Interviewer* *laughs evilly*
Ultraprime2 Avatar Ultraprime2 | Writer
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: No, I'm way too smart to believe in that childish stuff. ( -_-)/
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Well, I got to take a bath with Mavis again.
Interviewer: But you guys do that a lot.
A: Yeah, but it's always a great experience.
Interviewer: Ok then... >_>
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Rai.
A: But my grandma died ages ago. =(
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: I'm gonna do whatever I have to in order to help Mavis and the guys!
Relikz Relikz | Writer
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: <sarcasm>Sure I also believe in dragons, demons and flying pigs.</sarcasm>

Reli: Well I mean 2 of those do exist... and we don't got flying pigs but we got flying cats.

Bora: <sarcasm>Oh, suuuuuure</sarcasm>

Reli: >_____>

Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Well I got a fresh batch of slaves! ^_^

Reli: Uhm... should I be reporting this to the Magic Council?

When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: That's funny... when I bring my slaves to be sold I usually hear a lot of people yelling that at them.

Reli: Ok is it me or did this got really dark...

A: About time.
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: To sell more slaves than last year!

Reli: I think there is a special place in hell for you. *drops everything* Reli's out

God Real Godisme | Writer
Flare Corona
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: I'm red and white enough to have been mistaken for the chump before. So no.
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: I got a shirt from Blondie's drawer
Interviewer: Stealing doesn't count as getting.
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Blondie
A: I didn't know there were reindeer large enough to run over a giant.
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: I resolve to leave Blondie alone.
Interviewer: Really?
A: No
Umnei Umnei | Writer
Juvia Lockser
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: It is probable but I do not require a fat old man down my chimney. Only Gray-sama!
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Every minute I spend with Gray-sama is a gift in itself.
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: All of the cheap floozies throwing themselves at Gray-sama!
A: Is Gray-sama safe?!
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: Same as every y- no... same as every day. To win Gray-sama's affections!
Wrath Wrath022 | Writer
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: ...
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: ...
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: ...
A: ...
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: ...
Interviewer: Oh, another one? >_> What's your excuse?
A: *whispers* I'm dead you asshole. >_>
Fairy Raven Avatar FairyRaven | Writer
Minerva Orlando
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: Me finding coal in my stockings for the last 10 years probably is a sign of his existence, so yes.
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Yes, someone got me new pieces of underwear!
Interviewer: (Finally...)
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Nothing. It's a stupid laugh I've never had the displeasure of listening.
Interviewer: That's Santa's laugh.
Minerva: R-REALLY? That was off the record, what I mean is, this sound is music to my ears!
A: Serves her right for giving birth to my piece of trash father.
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: To get to the list of non-naughty children!
IamJakuhoRaikoben IamJakuhoRaikoben | M. Editor
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: Hell no. I know from experience that no one wants a fat man inside of their "chimney."
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Yeah, Levy got me a treadmill and Jet got me a vegetarian cook book. Why the fuck would I need either of those things?!
Interviewer: >_>
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Yummy, yummy. Get in my tummy. :3
A: Did someone catch the reindeer?! I've always wanted to know what it tastes like.
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: I don't have one. There's nothing about me I'd want to change.
Interviewer: Really?
Droy: Yep.
Jet: Really?
Droy: Yes.
Droy: YES!
Gajeel: Lose some weight, fat ass!
Droy: I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!
Ultraprime2 Avatar Ultraprime2 | Writer
Chelia Blendy
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: Uhmm...I don't really know. It seems too weird to be true but this is a world of flying cats, so who knows?
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: I did get this really weird doll from my cousin Sherry. It's strange cause it looks a lot like this boy she and I used to... O_O
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Santa!
A: But grandma died years ago when Deliora attacked. Was Deliora a reindeer demon!?
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: I'm finally gonna make Lyon see what's right in front of him! Me! And he's gonna finally appreciate me and accept me!
Interviewer: Does anyone other than me acknowledge that there's like a 10 year age difference between you two?
Relikz Relikz | Writer
Asuka Connell
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: Of course! Why would you even ask that? Mommy and daddy would never lie to me right? (๑′◉﹏◉๑)
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Santa brought me a horsey and a toy gun! *fires real gun*

Reli: WTF that's real! gimme that!

Asuka: ヘ(◕ᘩ◕ヘ)
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: I think I've heard mommy call that to one of daddy's friends.

Reli: ಠ_ಠ

A: What? I have a grandma?!
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: Hmmm.... I want to be a cat!

Reli: Aww that's so cute.

Asuka: So I can look more like mommy and her friends!

Reli: You need new parents.

Wrath Wrath022 | Writer
Bluenote Stinger
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: I will if he re-includes me into the series. <_>
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: I wouldn't know, seeing as how I was basically a chump to display Gildarts' strength and vanished. Missing people don't get presents from Santa.
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: My ex-girlfriend. Bitch.
A: Good, she was a slut too.
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: Try and let people know what happened to me. ( .___.)
Interviewer: Good luck with that...
Fairy Raven Avatar FairyRaven | Writer
Makarov Dreyar
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
A: Believe in him? I happen to personally know him!
Did you get anything for Christmas?
A: Sadly I'm at the age of giving presents, not taking.
Mira:' What about this package full of ero-books Gildarts sent you the other day, Master?
Makarov: (Shhh, you're ruining my image!)
When you hear "Ho Ho Ho" what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
A: Ho ho ho-ly shit look at those boobs! That ass! This-
Interviewer: Yeah, moving on.
Interviewer: ...Why was she still alive to begin with? -_-
What's your New Year's resolution?
A: To repay the guild's debts and prevent my idiotic children from increasing the amount of money I owe!

Relikz The Last Pollbender
Relikz | Writer

Issue 36: December 2014

Welcome to the The Last Pollbender! The page where we hold all kinds of polls each month to find out what Fairy Tail fans' opinions are on any and every subject!

( TT^TT)/

Random Opinions \( ^__^)/
Search Bar New Year
So now that you've had quite some time to get used to the new search bar at the top of the page, do you still want it?

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 118 people voted.
HAPPY 2015 EVERYBODY! So new year, we should get a new...

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 135 people voted.
The Series
The Manga The Anime
Favorite Dragon?

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 161 people voted.
Which Eclipse Spirit is your favorite

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 167 people voted.
Next arc Lumen Histoire
Next arc will focus on...

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 155 people voted.
What does Lumen Histoire do? (part 2)

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 141 people voted.
More Randomness
Bang bang Pork
Which of these lovely, yet not very popular, ladies do you wanna take home for adult play time? ;)

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 107 people voted.
Which of these handsome, yet not very popular, gentlemen do you wanna take home for adult play time? ;)

The poll was created at 22:57 on January 1, 2015, and so far 76 people voted.

Do you want something to be polled? Come here and leave your suggestion!

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Relikz | Designer

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