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Ultraprime2 | Writer


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This month we feature our amazing sponsors who make this article what it is. Be sure to say thanks!
Aries Emblem ARIES
(March 21 - April 19)
Cowardly. Loud. Unusual. This Horoscope was sponsored by sheep.

TAURUS
(April 20 - May 20)
Taurus Emblem
Fatty. Delicious. Juicy. This horoscope was sponsored by beef.

Gemini Emblem GEMINI
(May 21 - June 20)
Plastic. Overrated. Fake. This horoscope was sponsored by The Olsen Twins.

CANCER
(June 21 -July 22)
Cancer Emblem
Painful. Scarring. Horrific. This horoscope was sponsored by the proceeds from Rai's latest sex tape scandal.

Leo Emblem LEO
(July 23 - August 22)
Overpriced. Overwhelming. Large. This horoscope was sponsored by Rai's estate.

VIRGO
(August 23 - September 22)
Virgo Emblem
Under-priced. Small. Mediocre. This horoscope was sponsored by Umnei's vacation house.

Libra Emblem LIBRA
(September 23 - October 22)
Balanced. Accurate. Intimidating. This horoscope was sponsored by a dieter's nightmare.

SCORPIO
(October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio Emblem
Dangerous. Ugly. Common. This horoscope was sponsored by Indian food.

Sagittarius Emblem SAGITTARIUS
(November 22 - December 21)
Challenging. Anticipated. Celebratory. This horoscope was sponsored by the Olympics.

CAPRICORN
(December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn Emblem
Suave. Unusual. Charming. This horoscope was sponsored by yours truly.

Aquarius Emblem AQUARIUS
(January 20 - February 18)
Daunting. Oppressive. Scary. This horoscope was sponsored by a dieter's nightmare.

PISCES
(February 19 - March 20)
Pisces Emblem
Wet. Scaly. Smelly. This horoscope was sponsored by Remnant13.
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