You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and will work like hell. You are stubborn and bullheaded and will not accept advice from others. This month you will "play" with yourself a lot.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual and if you had a twin, it would be too. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little leading people to conclude that you are cheap.
CANCER (June 21 -July 22)
You are sympathetic and understanding to others peoples problems. They think you are a sucker. On the other hand, you are always putting things off, and that is why you never get anything done.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
You consider yourself a born leader while others think you are pussy. Most Leo's are bullies by nature. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance causes friction with others.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while making love. Virgos make excellent IRS agents.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male you are most likely gay. Most Libra women are considered easy. Changes of employment lead to are expected because of your inability to cope.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You achieve the pinnacle of success because of your lack of ethics. You are the perfect son of a bitch. You are also socially retarded.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You are have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. You most likely are a drug addict. People laugh at you a great deal because you are always getting screwed.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
You are a crazy party animal that loves getting drunk, which makes a lot of people consider you lazy. Most Capricorns are as awesome as hell and extremely hot in bed, but don't expect much effort from them when it comes to responsibilities.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand you are inclined to be careless and impractical causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly.
To the casual observer you appear stupid.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and class.