Template:TMITM/August2012

 

Alright folks, this issue will revolve around three chapters instead of five, seeing as we got no chapter one week and the last one came out too late to be inserted. This month's focus and main theme is the long-awaited battle pitting Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayers against Sabertooth's... This issue is about Natsu & Gajeel vs Sting & Rogue, at long last.

...

And if you're wondering, that's not a good thing. IT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!

Sigh... Signature tune.

I - Chapter 294: Battle of Dragon Slayers
Time to start. The two team stare each other down as their respective Masters encourage them in different ways (Jiemma goes for his renowed "Style of the Asshole Mustache", while Makarov chooses to adopt the usual "Mustache of Nakama-ness"). The gong is played, and confrontation finally ensues.

Before Sting and Rogue have a chance to do anything, Natsu and Rogue are in front of them, their faces some inches away from the opposing Dragon Slayers '. Oh, come on guys, to do that you at least have to offer them a drink. Gentlemen don't go for a kiss before...

Oh no, wait. That's a fight.

Sigh, what a relief.

Sting and Rogue get struck pretty badly in a moment, being sent flying backwards and then suffering more melee strikes from their foes before they can react, much to the audience's dismay. Sting seems to enjoy the whole thing, and decides to reciprocate by firing his White Dragon's Roar against Natsu, who rapidly dodges it, noting how it resembles a laser. A masochistic, sadistic, likely homosexual Dragon Slayer firing lasers from his mouth?! WUT?!

The whole thing's pretty suspicious... Mhm...



Sting's lazor.   He's firin' it.

...

I'm betting his power level was over 9,000 when he used that.

Oh well.

While Gajeel is distracted by Sting's WHOOP, Rogue tries to assault him with his so-called Shadow Dragon's Slash, supposed to be an attack based on shadows, but looking like a cheap ripoff of Zancrow's God Slayer Magic. Annoyed at the opponent getting in the way while he beholds Sting's lazor, he sends him flying away with his Iron Dragon's Sword. Natsu appears out of nowhere, grabs the flying Dragon Slayer from his face and then rushes towards the first base Sting, assaulting both foes with his Fire Dragon's Wing Attack, with everyone in the audience going "Ooooooooh".

Natsu wonders whether the two foes really did beat Dragons with their level of power, with Sting replying they killed the reptilians with their own hands. Black and White then proceed to activate some power up, Shadow Drive and White Drive respectively, subsequently attacking the opposing Slayers.

While in such state, Rogue is seemingly intangible like a shadow, and can sneak-attack Gajeel several times. As for Sting... Well, he's covered in an aura of light and fires light beams. As simple as that. Guess it's a "Who's brighter beats the other up" sort of battle, as Natsu is struck by a barrage of blows. The White Dragon Slayer spits some bullshit about "holiness" and "judgement" before reducing Natsu's movement by firing a stigma on his body. Wait a minute. You're telling me we're dealing with a masochistic, sadistic, likely homosexual Dragon Slayer firing lasers from his mouth and acting as a freelance pope boy?! DOUBLE WUT?!

Anyhow, Sabertooth's Dragon Slayers don't get to enjoy glory for long: Gajeel casually ignores Rogue's intangibility by grabbing his attacking hand and then happily elbowing him in the face, while Natsu burns away Sting's stigma with his dark fire of Satan from the depths of Hell and gives the opponent a similar treatment. The White Dragon Slayer resolves to use his Dragon Slayer's Secret Arts against the enemy, attacking him with his Holy Nova... which Natsu carelessly parries with one hand.

... Why did you bother trying?

Anyhow, the two Mages from Sabertooth keep getting hammered, with Yajima remarking how Natsu and Gajeel's level of strength is too much different from theirs.

Sting and Rogue stand back on their feet with difficulty, resolving to finally fight at full power, with the former wanting to respect a promise he made Lector and the latter hoping to screw an unconscious Gajeel for good after the battle. Scales, or rather fancy tattoos supposed to be scales, partially cover their bodies as the two Dragon Slayers, much to everyone's shock, enter Dragon Force mode without the need to consume any external source of power. And the marmot wraps the chocolate.

This rather fuddled chapter came with over 30 pages, three of which were colored: a starting page showing Fairy Tail cheering the two competitors on, and a two-pages panel with some of the guild's most prominent members. Laxus was in both, so, as far as colors go, I'm pretty satisfied. Aside from this, a pair of two-pages drawings showed Sabertooth's Mages getting rocked by the two guys from Fairy Tail, and another one the above mentioned Fairy Slayers standing idly while looking cool... after rocking the Sabertooth Mages. Oh well.

II - Chapter 295: Sting and Lector
Another outstanding amount of pages waiting for us in this chapter. Guess Mashima wants to make up for its lack of notable contents, good sense, creativity and... Oh, well.

Everyone is still going "Oooooohhh, Dragon Force!", "Ooooh, they activated it without the need to consume anything!", "Ooooohh, look at the boobs on that gal in the second row!" as Sting steps forward and tells Rogue he'll handle their foes himself, as "he is enough". He starts attacking Natsu and Gajeel, at the same time ducking their blows, and ultimately destroys the arena's floor with his White Dragon's Holy Breath (initially translated by some scanlators as White Dragon's White Dragon's... Great, really), revealing a series of underground structures resting in a cave below it. Do you think someone will spend a minute to notice these vaguely mysterious buildings, wondering what they're doing below the Domus Flau, or try and sospend the match or something?

The fuck, this is Fairy Tail! Let the battle continue, and screw archaeology and common sense! If the ring breaks, the fighters will merely get hurt badlier, much to the audience's joy!

...

Sheesh.

Sting continues beating his foes both in midair and on the ground, even using his (ATTENTION! Possible Naruto spoiler!) Laser Circus Holy Ray technique, and then goes on to remember a promise he made Lector...

"Screen fades in flashback style"

... to one day beat Natsu, in order to prevent others from bullying Lector due to his claim that Sting himself had beaten a Dragon being considered a lie.

"Screen returns to normal"

So... This is it? No troubled childhood? No destruction, or orphanages, or bandits or anything? "Slowly starts crying" Just a bratty Exceed "Sigh" bragging about his friend "Sigh" and not being believed "Sigh" by others? That's tra gic "Returns dead serious" sh.

Anyhow, as Sting and Rogue (who did much, right?) brag about their Third Generation, Natsu and Gajeel stand back up on their feet, revealing that they've studied Sting's fighting habits while getting badly beaten up. And then... Natsu pushes Gajeel in a minecart and, taking advantage of his motion sickness, sends him away on the rails... in order to fight Sting and Rogue by himself.

...

I really don't know what to say. This is wrong under SO many aspects. Hope Gajeel finds some diamonds and doesn't run into a Creeper, or I'll fucking kill you, stupid pink hedgehog.

As I said, another extra-long chapter, coming with two colored pages: a single one showing Sting and Rogue in their Dragon Force mode before Natsu and Gajeel, and a double one with all of the series' characters present in this last arc, portrayed in a Chibi style. A black and white (no, not that again) two-pages panel is focused around Natsu and Gajeel falling in the arena's underground. I think I've said enough. Oh, no, wait. Mashima proved us again (after pulling Quatro Cerberus back) how much he remembers about the first chapters in the series, making Natsu make a certain gesture again. Or had he forgotten and wanted to be original?



Mashima: "Ahah, that's what I call original! I can't possibly have had such a genial idea in the past... Can't I?"

III - Chapter 296: Natsu vs. the Twin Dragons


... or it it the Two Dragons? Aaahhh, whatever.

"Sigh" Here we are, the final chapter of the battle of Dragon Slayers. Are you wondering why I'm sighing, and if it's because this battle is coming to an end? No, my dear readers. I'm crying because this battle is pure shit, and the simple fact that Mashima ever thought of it like this sends chills down my spine. He must think he writes his manga for an audience under 4 years.

Hell.

Let's get started. Natsu's back on his feet and ready to fight the two opponents by himself. Knowing what an astounding amount of Plot Armor he has at his disposal, we're not the only ones crying, for a stranger with his/her face obscured by a cape sheds tears while observing the whole thing. In the meantime... Jellal senses the dark energy again. Uuuuuuuuuh, what a surprise, really. You felt it like 20 times already these Games, and every time you got nothing. Right now it almost seems like Mashima wants to cover some pages and has nothing better to put in them. This is getting pathetic.

Anyhow, the ones facing in the arena chitchat a bit, Natsu spits some Nakama Crap and the three resume their battle, with the Fire Dragon Slayer beating up the one who was weeeping the floor with his head just moment before, plus someone he didn't have a chance to "analyze" by getting beaten, and who, as a result, he shouldn't be able to match. With both opponents in Dragon Force mode, that is. And with Natsu rarely ever using his Magic attacks, going melee for most of the time, countering and overwhelming Rogue's Shadow Dragon's Roar with his own breath spell and ultimately clashing with the opposing Holy Shadow Dragon's Flash Fang (yeah, Unison Raid. Remember, that spell supposed to be extremely rare; so rare, in fact, that some people searched for it for their entire lives... Hell, they might have just read Fairy Tail until now, and they'd had three nice instances already) through his Crimson Lotus: Exploding Flame Blade.

Anything else before I give you the results of such confrontation? Everyone becomes increasingly confident as Sabertooth becomes increasingly baffled and left "Lol WTF?", and Lector is revealed to have been Sting's apprentice, who, not managing to become any stronger than he already is, simply resolved to rejoice in Sting's own power.

Cute.

Ahem, I meant pathetic, sorry.

And now to the results...

The fuck, do I really need to tell you? Natsu rocks the Twin Dragons' asses. Victory goes to Fairy Tail. A good part of the Domus Flau's underground is reduced to pieces. Screw you, funky guys, I hope the archaeological society comes for you asses. Fairy Tail on top with 45 points, and Sabertooth one step below with 44. Say Sting, does this remind you of something? Does it ring a bell? A certain Chariot event, maybe? Nothing?

...

Now seriously, who gives a fuck about art and double pages this time. This chapter is merely the topping, the vaulted ceiling of the shit tower Mashima built with this battle, one chapter after the other. 294, 295 and now 296. Behold, the tower is finally complete! Now we guys are free to climb to its top and start throwing shit at one another! Yaaaaaaaayyyy!

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That's all. I refuse to say anything else. August's issue ends here... luckily enough.