Template:The Earth Land Chronicles/June 2013

 ''Welcome to another issue of The Earth Land Chronicles. This article will a relatively sarcastic overview of things in the Fairy Tail series, which will probably be presented in chronological order. This could include main villains, Dragon Slayers, Celestial Spirits, all in the order they were revealed. Our first series will be the story arcs of Fairy Tail, with an arc being done each month. So let's continue with the Tenrou Island arc.'' 

Welcome to the newest edition of The Earthland Chronicles where we're going to go through the various arcs of Fairy Tail in comedic style! This month, we're taking a look at one of Fairy Tail's biggest arcs: Terou Island!

But hey, I know that this arc is long as balls. Therefore, I'm gonna split it up and we're gonna review the first 1/3 of this arc up to a certain point. Yay!

So we start off the chapter on some island where an emo kid murders some wolves cause they got too close to him. And he wants to meet and ask out Natsu Dragneel. Alright then, whatever.

Now no Fairy Tail arc would be exist without some fanservice. Our first shot of the guild members is Lucy in the bath when suddenly, Cana is shown. The two naked girls chat a bit about Lucy's dad and then Cana says she might leave the guild. OK, what? In the guild, everyone is rushing like crazy to take jobs, climbing over one another to get the work. Cause we all know there's nothing like a good last-minute rush to ensure good results. Students, wouldn't you agree? Mira says Cana always gets depressed around this time and it's then that we find out why! It's time for the Chuunin Exams S-Class Trial! The candidates are Natsu, Gray, Freed, Levy, Elfman, Juvia, Cana and some nobody named "Mest", and they have the chance to become S-Class Mages. As expected, Gajeel is pissed that he didn't get chosen. It's then that Carla has her vision of a tearing Natsu, a crying Cana, an unmoving arm and that emo kid from the island. We know right off the bat this is gonna be one hell of an arc.

You also get a partner for the exams, but not a current S-Class Mage like Mirajane (sorry Rai ^_^). So Natsu chooses Happy, Juvia gets the recently-returned Lisanna, Freed chooses Bickslow, Elfman takes Freed's reject, Gray goes with Loke, who suspends his contract with Lucy, Levy gets forced into being Gajeel's partner when her two lovers are too dumb to do anything about it. While walking home, Lucy comes into contact with a bum, which happens to be Cana. Since she failed the exam 4 times already and wants to leave if she fails again. Telling her a secret, Lucy decides to be her partner.

So the exam is on Tenrou Island and everyone boards a ship to get there. It's hot as balls so everyone's in their swimwear or low levels of clothing, except Gray who's naked as always. It's here that we find out the details of the first part of the exam and everyone is told to go. Sadly, they can't leave the boat thanks to Freed being a dick and trapping everyone with his runes. Levy and Evergreen are able to rewrite them, but only for themselves and their partners, proving that they're way more deceptive than we gave them credit for. Not really a surprise in Evergreen's case though. Anyways, everyone is soon able to go but Lucy and Cana are left back at the beginning.

Eventually, they find that they have to go through a path that can end in a battle against another team, a safe pass or a fight with an S-Class Mage. As it turns out, they have to fight Freed and Bickslow. It seems hopeless given how they fought back in the Fighting Festival arc but there's an advantage here: Freed's shy around girls in bikinis. Therefore, he loses, but it's all a ploy since he owed them. Cause we all know those two would never lose to Lucy and Cana unless it were a beauty contest.

At the same time, Gray and Loke end up beating up Mest and leaving Wendy aside. Evidently he's gotten weaker since the last trial, but neither really remembers that. So in the end, the ones who passed the first trial are Cana and Lucy, Gray and Loke, Levy and Gajeel, Elfman and Evergreen and Natsu and Happy, who lost to Gildarts but got passed anyways cause Gildarts decided to be nice. Sadly, Juvia got her ass kicked by Erza. Not really a surprise, but w/e. Nice to see Erza dominate as usual.

The second test is to find the grave of the 1st master: Mavis Vermilion. But before that, let's take some time to appreciate some female bodies from the first part of this trial.

Alright pervs, zip up your pants and get back in the game.

The island is full of weird things. Not just the weird-ass Natsu who talks to animals but also the animals who talk back to him. Man those things are huge. There's also Mirajane's weird imagination when trying to think of Elfman and Evergreen's baby, their "pending marriage" being how they tricked her into letting them win. So as the losers and those not participating take rest, we hear that Freed and Bickslow left with Gildarts while Wendy has yet to show up at camp. She's exploring the island with her partner so Erza takes off with Juvia to find her.

Elsewhere, Elfman and Evergreen are having a lover spat, where we find out about the marriage being a ruse (big surprise there, eh?) and stuff. As they do, they're approached by the wolf murderer who tries to make sure they don't get near him. Naturally though, it's too late and he attacks, leading to Mr. Nakama to save them by pushing their heads into the ground, with his scarf turning black as a result while the boy cries at seeing Natsu. C'mon, he ain't that ugly. So the boy really wants Natsu to kill him for some reason but Natsu ain't strong enough yet. Apparently, plot magic doesn't work here. Yet. But hey, there is a great song for this.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, But you seem strong, So kill me, maybe.

On, and I can finally say this is Zeref and we've also got evil flying high in the sky. They're quite a colorful crew and they wanna awaken Zeref. We've seen that before with Ultear contacting Master Hades but now we have the faces of their cohorts.

Meanwhile, Lucy thinks she knows where the grave they're after is and since they're too lazy to think for themselves, Gray and Loke opt to cheat and follow her and Cana. At the same time, Gajeel pisses off Levy with his interest in fighting, causing her to dramatically run away like an idiot in dangerous territory and come across a dog and a chicken. Thankfully, she's saved by Gajeel. Not like we didn't see it coming, but still nice all the same. These guys are from Grimoire Heart and they ain't too bad, despite looking like something from a circus show reject tent. The battle is tough and Gajeel takes a crap ton of hits such that he tells Levy to run. Oh, but not before she writes him a little "LOVE" letter which gives him the strength to fight. Kicking their asses at the cost of taking more damage, Gajeel wins while Levy gets to a bikini-clad Erza, who sends out the message of the attack via signal flare.

So as these things go on, the loli is found by Carla and Pantherlily. They showed up on the island cause they don't think Mest is really part of the guild. Not really their fault since A) He isn't and B) He made everyone think he was with his Magic. Of course, this little fest is interrupted by Grimoire Heart member Azuma a badass who can blow stuff up. Hell yeah. Sadly, this proves pretty effective in battle and lets him beat up on the group, including a battleship brought by Mest, actually a Magic Council member.

Meanwhile, Makarov confronts the dark guild, smashing the hell out of their airship but letting the Mages escape while he's confronted by Hades. Makarov, faced with Grimoire Law can't use Fairy Law and is forced to look at his enemy. Turns out, Hades is really a good guy gone bad who came to mess up the exam and his name is Orochimaru Precht, the 2nd Guild Master of Fairy Tail. For an old dude, he packs a punch since he pretty much kicks the crap out of Makarov, who can't really fight back. One shotted and annihilated, Makarov is left for the dead but not before entrusting his will to someone far away.

Naturally though, Fairy Tail has no problem fighting the fodder. Mirajane can even take one out with a stick. Nice! While Natsu gets over to Wendy and saves her, he comes across crazy bastard Zancrow whose flames he can't eat cause he's a Flame God Slayer and thus superior. Everyone else has met their enemies as well. Gray, Cana, Lucy and Loke are fighting a goat, Lisanna and Mirajane are fighting Azuma, Elfman and Evergreen are fighting some homo and Erza and Juvia are fighting a loli. The time Mage Ultear and the fatass are elsewhere though. It's here we learn that each of the 7 Kin of Purgatory has a lost Magic.

Natsu's fight is hard as balls since he can't really hurt his opponent and at one point is even sent flying to where Makarov is, where he finds out the truth. Now bursting with resolve not entirely related to Nakama (Ikr, I was surprise too), Natsu gets back in the fight and soon takes out Zancrow with a little help from Makarov and a whole ton of plot bs. Really? "Nullifying" your own Magic to eat the flames? Totally shouldn't have worked. How the hell do you even do that? Jeez. At least this godawful fight is over.

Elsewhere, Mirajane is forced to fight Azuma when he takes Lisanna hostage and will kill her in 3 minutes unless he's beaten. Naturally though, Mirajane abandons the battle and shields her sister from the subsequent explosion, claiming she didn't wanna lose her again. Gotta admit, that was pretty sweet. Too bad the anime screwed up this battle. But anyways, Mirajane's beaten while somewhere else, Ultear comes across Zeref, and he sure ain't happy about it.

So, that's the end of this edition of The Earth Land Chronicles. Join us next month when we pick up where we left off. Till then!

Man..... I should probably rename this thing "The Sexy Land Chronicles" with the weird-ass way I've been writing ( ._.)



"So, your sister's going to forfeit here, but.....you don't need to worry, Lisanna. you're the one person I won't let die again." - Mirajane to Lisanna in Fairy Sisters
 * Best Quote of this part of the Arc:

Flame God Slayer Magic - Awesome Magic. Totally didn't get enough show-time.
 * Best Magic of this part of the Arc:

Lucy decides to become Cana's partner in the S-Class Trial.
 * Best Moment of this part of the Arc:

Chapter 204 - Bikinis ftw
 * Best Chapter of this part of the Arc:

Natsu vs. Gildarts - Seeing Natsu get trounced was awesome.
 * Best Episode of this part of the Arc: