User blog comment:FairyTailKnight/Nalu (First written fanfiction)/@comment-7418318-20170225073129

Not much to tell about the story parts due to there being so little so far, but I can try to give you some advice on presentation, grammar and spelling.

First of all, I suggest you break it up into seperate paragraphes, so it's easier to keep track of who's talking. For example like this:


 * "What were you thinking Natsu!?" Erza exclaims.


 * "That's just it, he wasn't thinking at all!" Gray answers. Erza begins walking back and forth, muttering to herself.


 * "Calm down Erza." Mira tells her.

Then there's the tense. When Natsu recounted the events, you switched between present and past tense. It'd be better if Natsu stayed in the past tense, except for "Lucy is GONE" obviously, since that is still true, but the "rogue catches us off guard" should be "caught us off guard"... also it's rogue, not rouge. Rouge is a kind of make-up or colour. Same for the followup sentence.

There's also the "brokedown" at the end. That should either be "Natsu broke down" or "Natsu had broken down" though I would use the former.

That being out of the way I suspect that people won't be too happy to have a fanfict written out here on the wikia. If you are looking for a platform where you can post your story and get feedback on it, you could try https://www.fanfiction.net/ It's free and it also has a system of so called "Beta-Readers" if you want to partner up with someone to check your grammar and spelling. But I don't know how exactly that works, since I never used it myself - I only know it exists there.