Template:TMITA/December 2014

 



"Shake me! Shake me up! Me? Cancer! You? Let's move!" Le Sexy Me: D'uhhh... "Our two hearts...are melting-kani." Le Sexy Me: Dear god, what did I get myself into...
 * much later on*

So... with that out of the way, let's get this rolling...literally. More or less, Cancer calls Gray out on a dance battle, emphasizing less on the dance and more on the gay undertones. Cancer kicks Gray's ass in the dance battle in the beginning, after which Cancer, trying to level the playing field, takes the wicked witch of the east's spare red boots and cuts them up, effectively turning Gray into Michael Jackson, Portgas D. Ace's wannabe, and a straight-up fag. https://33.media.tumblr.com/be6a3210b4e9768d561e145f2a6c6646/tumblr_ngfcdv8e7c1sa6bioo2_400.gif And here I thought that Misk kept these photos private for me. Deceitful wife. >:C Anyway, so Gray goes fag and ditches his shame, which allows him to both captivate the audience of cardboard cutouts and Cancer himself. Gray always gets stuck with the homos. I would say poor guy, but it's always to our amusement, and boy was I amused-kani kani. :D Ultimately, Gray kicks Cancer's ass, but much to his dismay it isn't literally.

Anyway, at the same time that this is all happening, Cana defeats Scorpio, Levy starts to fail even more at Capricorn's quiz, Natsu finds an entrance to Leo's hiding spot and Libra tries to let Yukino in on something that apparently only she is aware of, and it's probably important. Let's be honest, the only serious part of this entire arc is Leo and Libra. >_> Everything else is so disappointing I've only got humor to extend. So ultimately, Gray completely captivates Cancer with a duet ice skating dance then kicks his ass and sends him back to the Celestial Spirit World, forcing Cancer to promise never to speak of him bringing back what's been dead for 5 years. After that, Hisui and Arcadios find a mysterious thirteenth door to have appeared (fucking shocker) and enter it under the pretense of not wanting to be useless. Too late guys.

Meanwhile, back in Wrath's room, it's time for some kani-kani if you catch my drift. https://38.media.tumblr.com/46cba57612f99f7dc30ab91742fbeb04/tumblr_ng6bxfqqCu1rr4de2o1_500.gif



There are no quotes to describe my reaction to this episode. It was just gay from start to finish.

Boring. Boring boring boring boring boring. I fell right the fuck to sleep when I watched this.

Anyhow, the episode starts off with Levy and Capricorn finishing their quiz battle, which Levy wins by exclaiming the name of the one she has romantic feelings for, which is Gajeel. She didn't actually say it so we could hear (the sound cut out), but come on, we all know she said it. ;D Meanwhile, Virgo tries to torture Lucy with fucking mayonnaise and mustard of all damn things, and although I appreciated the "suspense", this childish bullshit needs to stop. I was expecting big things out of Virgo, and by far she's the biggest damn let-down of all the Eclipse Spirits. Cancer was at least funny for fuck's sake (-kani-kani, aye!). To make things even more retarded, Natsu, Wendy and the two pain in the ass cats stumble upon an eclipse version of Ophiuchus, who is by far only out-shadowed by Virgo as the most retarded. She has turned from a giant, black serpent into a female "nasty nurse" who likes to get people sick. She tortures everyone with dental treatments, band-aid tears (okay, those hurt. That qualifies), and something about acid being shot from a giant syringe. To be honest, I'm surprised she didn't try and give Natsu a prostate exam. Oh wait...

http://i1290.photobucket.com/albums/b535/Seth_Peets/ProstateExam_zps25218ed3.png

...maybe she did.

Aries and Juvia eventually duke it out though, and any coolness Aries had was thrown right out the window when she said that she has basically become a delinquent street racer. I will admit that I lol'd when she got sensitive about her tit size, though. Obviously she got reduced to like this petulant 15 year old girl who is trying to rebel against her parents. I liked her more when she was trying to make people say sorry and saying that everyone should be crushed. But whatever. Anyway, Juvia is weak from all the walking in the desert (dehydrated, motherfuckers) and Aries takes advantage of this and beats her up with her exploding horns of doom and all the sheep Little Bo Peep couldn't find. Juvia eventually destroys Aries' Magic Four Wheeler and rehydrates with its radiator water, which allows her to defeat Aries and send her back to the spirit world.

At the same time, Hisui and Arcadios travel down that thirteenth corridor within Astral Spirytus and talk about how the Celestial Globe for Liberum must be with Leo, and surmise that he might be up to something other than Liberum. After that, we see Sagittarius challenge Erza to whatever their gay little challenge is going to be. Oh, I just can't fucking wait to see how pitiful this is going to be.

Long story short, best part of the episode was Levy beating Capricorn in the quiz battle by answering the question of who does she have romantic feelings for (obvs Gajeel :3). I grinned like the dumbest bastard ever. :D

Go Cat-jeel, go.

For everyone's sake I'm just going to cut this short. It was stupid to the nth degree. I'm a big fan of Harry Potter and it's considered disrespect to ride a centaur like it's a mere mule, so seeing Sagittarius being either BDSM whipped or broken in (your call. Half man, half horse. ( ^_^)) irked me. I had hope for maybe a real battle...but all that got smashed last episode so whatever. >_>

I don't feel like rambling on and on about the crap, so I'll just point out the only highlight of the episode, which is Ophiuchus being revealed to be Astral Spirytus itself and Loke getting ready to execute his grand plan. I think so long as he gets perfect freedom for himself he doesn't really care.

P.S. lel at Cat-jeel


 * Insert funny quote here*

Okay, this episode wasn't too bad until it got to the end. Basically what it amounts to is Leo uses the globe to perform Liberum again and it starts doing some wonky laser-firing shit which stops Wendy, Happy and female Happy from doing anything worthwhile. Meanwhile, Natsu and Leo go at it and boy, Leo kicks ass. Seriously, like, he did better than I was expecting, but that's sort of what made the end disappointing; don't get me wrong, it was interesting and the cliffhanger got me sort of piqued again, but overall, eh.

So Leo can basically absorb light sources, which includes, but is supposedly not limited to, fire that is not Dark Regulus (which actually got a name, btw. Happy about that). So in essence Leo rapes Natsu's asshole much like Ophi did a few episodes back, until Natsu gets sick of Leo's shit and eats up all his flames and gets Black Flame Faggot Mode. Yes, that's right. Black Flame Faggot Mode. It gives Natsu the power to tap into the potential of his manga counterpart and access Dragon Slayer's Secret Art: Faggot Destruction Technique, which uses his Nakama Power reserves from both adaptations to defeat opponents he would normally be outclassed by in one hit. But Hisui at least gets our interest circulating again and hints that Ophiuchus may be the mastermind behind all this. I sort of think this is going to be another 12-13 episodes based on the logic of she's trying to eclipse-form the CSK and revive the Eclipse Spirits in a more useful, less gay form, but that's just hoping. It'd make the arc better for sure, but we're all so sick of it at this point that no matter what they do we just want Sun Village (which I'm dredding), so gg anime. Alternatively, she could just be trying to suck up the strength and powers of the 12 Eclipse Spirits for her own, hence why it had to be in Astral Spirytus, but anyway, see you guys next month.