Template:TMITM/May2012

 

Let's get going folks, chapters won't review themselves on their own!

Signature tune!

I - Chapter 281: Malice is Concealed by the Curtain of Night
This first chapter of our review starts with Erza and an unmasked Jellal chatting under the night sky, following the end of the Grand Magic Games' second day. The former Wizard Saint makes several assumptions as to why the Magical energy his guild has tracked the years before is nowhere to be felt this year, and claims he'll keep the organizers under watch. The two split up, happy that they can finally have peaceful conversations and that May's issue of Real Tail is out, check it out! . Shortly afterwards, Erza's approached by that mysterious hooded girl from Mermaid Heel, who reveals herself as...

... Millianna!!!

Hell, who would have said that? Such a surprise it was, no rumors about an happening like this had been heard. Anyhow, the two chitchat a bit about the past and stuff. Something more interesting is going on elsewhere... In Sabertooth's lodging, Fiore's #1 guild is gathered in front of its Master, Jiemma, the illegitimate product of Roubaul and Jinpachi Mishima's union, who scolds them for scoring no points on the Games' second day. Sting is warned not to do a pathetic scene again, while Yukino gets struck by some thrown grapes. In order for her not to stain her clothes, Jiemma orders the young girl to take them off, and, since he's at it, decides to excommunicate her to make it so that grapes will no longer threaten her life, ordering her to remove her guild mark. Such a caring master he is, right? Following this humiliating ritual, Sting, despite having been warned himself, is shown to be the usual asshole, while Rogue displays what might look like an heart, showing affection for his Exceed Frosch.

Meanwhile Natsu, Lucy, Wendy, Happy and Carla are returning to the lodgings, with Gray busy with his threesome love triangle alongside Juvia and Lyon, and Erza still delighted about the publishing of Real Tail, and are struck by the sight of an unexpected visitor... Standing before the londging's entrance is Yukino, who has gotten herself new clothes, having sent the grapes-stained ones to the laundry. What is the former Sabertooth Mage up to? As we're left to wonder about that, Erza and Millianna are chatting, and we are told something more about that sheathed blade Kagura Mikazuchi, Millianna's guildmate, carries around... With its name, Archenemy, stemming from Kagura's will to only draw it when pitted against the one who "stole everything away from her"... Jellal.

...

Seriously mate, you really can't avoid being the target of every girl in the series, can't you?

... And of girls outside it, for that matter...

Anyhow, Millianna hates the blue-haired guy as well, and that's why she joined Kagura's guild. Surprise! Erza is left to fight the psychological ghosts of her past just as the chapter ends.

What to say, a pretty nice chapter. No colored or double pages, only a nice Cover showing us the results of Elfman's wager with Bacchus, with the S-Class Mage laughing his ass off before the scoreboard reading "Quatro Puppy", much to the dismay of his fellow guildmates. Oh well. WILD!

II - Chapter 282: 10 Keys and 2 Keys
Alright, this was merely a transition chapter coming with almost no interesting events, so I'll be basically skipping it. Know that Yukino tries to give Lucy her two Golden Keys for some sort of prophecy about Celestial Spirit Mages, which are getting smaller and smaller in number (Lucy and Yukino are likely the only two left? WTF?), and subsequently tells Natsu of her excommunication from Sabertooth... Something which prompts Natsu to attack the guild's lodgings and challenge none other than Master Jiemma. Oh hell. Guess that with next chapter's name being "Natsu vs Jiemma", we might be expecting something...

Oh, for those who might be interested in it, we get to see Carla without clothes (nothing weird, you furry-fans... It's just like Happy... But we're not used to it :S) and, much to someone else's joy, Wendy seems to have grown a bit... Just a little bit. Oh, and Arcadios' nose isn't squared this chapter. What is this about? A power-up or something? Will he get more evil and powerful as his nose gets less squared?

Oh, I almost forgot... The manga went on to mention a certain "Zentopia incident", which seems to have greatly diminished the number of Celestial Spirit Mages in Fiore. What will... Wait a moment... Wait a damn moment... Zentopia?! You're not meaning...?! No, it can't be... This must be a nightmare... What the hell is going on... Anime Crap... in... the manga???!!!

[http://nonciclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/AAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

...

"Pant pant" Alright, I'm alright now... More or less...

Super-short review of Chapter 282, who had no special features, done. And if you're not alright with it, then jump off a cliff!

III - Chapter 283: Natsu vs Sabertooth
Here comes the chapter! Which strangely enough seems to have been renamed like this, in spite of the previous "Natsu vs Jiemma"... Oh well. The title seems fitting, as Sabertooth's Master doesn't lend weight to Natsu's challenge, instead sending Dobengal, one of the guild's top ten members and Kakashi Hatake's nerd brother, so air-headed that he has to write Roman numbers on his fingers to keep a count of how many he has, to handle him... Only for the seeming ninja to be rocked by Natsu with a single blow. That was fast. Well, at least he hasn't lost any finger, so he'll count the usual amount when he wakes up... Sting offers to fight the pink-haired assailant, but Jiemma stops him, readying to fend off Natsu by himself...

The Dragon Slayer attacks the old man in melee, only for him to almost blast him away with some sort of shock wave attack. Natsu, however, doesn't back down, and assaults Jiemma with a barrage of fire-enhanced blows, finishing the combo off with a "Sigh" Lightning Flame Dragon move. Hell, when will you lose the ability to use them? This matter is getting annoying... Grrrr... Well, whatever. Natsu's attack destroys a nice part of the nearby wall... Only for the clearing smoke to reveal Jiemma unscathed, having been shielded by the appearance of a mysterious woman bearing a striking resemblance to a geisha... The last member of Sabertooth's strongest group of five, Minerva. C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

The gal's sudden appearance shocks everyone, and Minerva, true to her name, is revealed to be wise enough to know that fighting off-Games could cause troubles for both her guild and Fairy Tail. That's how, in order to force Natsu to leave, she reveals to have taken Happy hostage... Hell girl, that's a low blow. Many fans of that furry thing right now might be wishing you death, you know. The kitten is given back to its owner as Natsu resigns to leave in a remarkably mature way... Not before telling his opponents off for the way they treat their comrades, something which prompts Rogue to think... While Sting masturbates shivers, having seen Natsu's real strength... Not that sure the Dragon you killed wasn't a lizard now, aren't you Stingy?

This chapter wasn't bad. The art was good as usual, and we got three nice double pages. The cover, in particular, was worth noting, showing us an excellent shot of Gray and Juvia together, delighting all Graya/Juray/Gjray Gray x Juvia shippers out there. Dobengal's design was appreciable, and even Minerva, in her own right, is something good to look at... Though I don't get why someone named like the Greek/Roman deity of wisdom is supposed to dress like a geisha. Oh well...

IV - Chapter 284: Pandemonium


Oh, no. No no no no no no no. Oh crap. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?! For real?! No way, I refuse to review this chapter. Blame Mashima for giving us first an unnecessary and almost useless Chapter 282, and now this... this monstrosity whose existence I want to forget. I'm not reviewing this. Go somewhere else if you want to be given proper information about this so-called "chapter". You should have deduced my opinion about it from those few lines. Over and out!

...

Still here? "Sigh" Fine, guess I can't just send you away like this.

Here, spend the time you would have devoted to reading the review by staring at Jenny's poster from the Grand Magic Games Special. It's by all means better than talking about that... Don't even have words. Anyhow, enjoy.



While you're admiring the lady over here (in a purely philosophic way, of course... Platonic love, that is), I'll go write Mashima a little letter about his latest "work" which I refused to even mention...