Template:TMITM/June2012

 

Let me tell you guys: after the crap which was Chapter 284, some of the chapters I'm going to describe are PLAIN AWESOME. Get your safety belts on an let's have a go.

I - Chapter 285: MPF
Here goes this month's first chapter. Since the first pages are related to one of the chapters I hated the most in the entire series (namely Chapter 284, but I guess you already knew), I won't be reviewing them, and I'll be skipping to the phase when the Pumpkin King Mato tells the other participants of the Pandemonium event that, in order to establish a ranking, they'll have to assault a Magical device (the Magic Power Finder, MPF, that is: the chapter's title isn't the name of some drug or something) which will assign a given number to their Magic Power: the higher the number, the higher the position in the rankings. Easy, no?

As the idiotic Hibiki tries to have his way with Cana, the competitors ready themselves in the same order determined for Pandemonium: Millianna goes first, achieving a nice score of 365, enough, according to Lahar, to be a Squad Leader of the Rune Knights. Wow, amazing! Especially if you consider how powerful Rune Knights are... Their power is overwhelming... Do me a favor. Next up is Nobarly, who scores just 124, giving Mashima another chance to throw loads of crap on Quatro Cerberus... Again. Hell, shocking news.

Third is Hibiki, who confidently assaults the Magical orb only to score 95 points (Ahah, looooooser!)... And to subsequently play the pathetic to attract Cana's attentions. Seriously, get the fuck out, Pegasus dummy. The gal's not yours for the taking. Bow before the fourth competitor, Obra, the one capable of reducing people's Magic Power to 0 in an instant from afar... And who nearly scores 0, much to everyone's dismay, sending his Exceed-like companion to headbutt the orb for a mere 4 points. Something expectable from someone who doesn't like to show his Magic in public, says the rest of Raven Tail when Flare wonders what the nosed guy is up to.

As Millianna gloats about being #1, Orga stands up, using his aimed attack 120mm Black Lightning Cannon to gain an astounding score of 3825, surpassing Millianna, amazing many people, and, most importantly, prompting Laxus to sneer satisfied. I can see a "Laxus vs Orga" title showing up soon... Seriously, a move named like a piece of artillery is so freakin' awesome that my already nice amount of respect for the most silent green-haired guy on steroids around grew even further. Orga sings in victory as Millianna is buried alive in cat litter for losing the 1st position, and the strongest candidate approaches the orb... It's Jura's turn.

The Wizard Saint asks the pumpkin man whether it is alright for him to go all out, and, when given permission, summons forth an humoungous amount of Magic Power performing his Rumbling Mt. Fuji spell, scoring 8544 points, a record for the MPF, and surpassing Orga. That's to be expected of a Wizard Saint, right?

The only one left is Cana, visibly quite drunk, as noted by her guildmates, obviously pessimistic that the girl can score a nice amount of points, especially in such state. Much to everyone's shock, Cana removes her shirt and reveals a dark mark hidden below it, on her right arm... Yes, guys, it's what you're thinking. Mavis claims to have renewed her lending as the drunkest girl in Fairy Tail uses one of her Guild's great spells again, employing Fairy Glitter to achieve a score of 9999 points, breaking the MPF by maxing it out (if she had had Break Damage Limit, that might have went up to 99.000, yay!). The astonished crowd cheers and Cana exults as Fairy Tail gains more and more points!

Mysterious things are to come, though... Mato is shown sneering in a rather creepy way, and, on the stands, Nullpuding hands the Armor Guy, now acknowledged as "Alexei", a small piece of paper with the matchups for the incoming battle portion written on it. I don't think that's a fair thing to do... Anyhow, the members of the former Dark Guild smile deviously as Alexei asks whether they should start to pursue their real objective, and next chapter's title comes up...

"Laxus vs Alexei".

Hell. YEAH. It was time. Looks like we're gonna see fireworks soon... Stay with us!

This was a really nice chapter, especially after That Crappy Chapter Whose Number Should Not Be Mentioned. It was good getting to see some new attacks from some characters, and the victory of one of my favorite characters obviously pleased me. Always regarding favorite characters, Laxus got to foreshadow some sort of confrontation with Orga and received an official, incoming battle in the form of next chapter's title... Hell, could I be happier than this?

...

Well, Mashima spoiled Quatro Cerberus again. So yes. I could.

As for the art... Well, we had a 2-pages shot of Fairy Glitter and the drawings were good as always... But seriously, with a cover like THIS, who gives a damn about the rest?

II - Chapter 286: Laxus vs Alexei
At last it's here... The title is the most promising one I'd seen in some time: we'll finally get to see Laxus fighting again! Hell, I can't wait. Let's start reading the chapter and find out that... Millianna has utterly defeated Semmes, that robot-like guy from Quatro Cerberus. You know, the one whose Magic we've not seen and who in the Games' Guide was described as having a score of 5 out of 5 for both Offense and Defense. Seriously damn catgirl, screw you. I already know of your fucking ropes, I've seen them already, let me see NEW MAGIC from OTHER PEOPLE, especially from people part of THE GUILD I'M CHEERING FOR! The only useful thing you could do with your goddamn tubes would be to wrap Erza up for good and store her away somewhere where she'd be stuck for the rest of the series. You'd do me a favor. Oh, and, if you wanted to do me another favor, after that you might wrap yourself up as well and go keep her company. Don't worry, I'd make sure to throw the key away myself, so that you two long-time friends could chat a bit.

Hell.

And since I'm at it, screw you too Mashima. Hell's dammit, why did you have Cerberus make it to the Games if getting whipped in the ass is the only thing they seem to do well? Stop throwing crap at them and let us see their Magic! You know what guys? Quatro Cerberus will win the Grand Magic Games. That's the only explanation I can come up with after seeing them always getting beaten up so badly. All other Teams will be eliminated in a way or another... After all, Jellal isn't part of Fairy Tail, and Raven Tail... Well, I don't think I have to mention Raven Tail. As for Blue Pegasus' Bunny Guy (Usagi for friends)... Keep reading, alright?

The third day's second match pits Rufus against Eve, two Mages who took part together in the Hidden event. How will the battle work out?

...

Do I really need to say that? Rufus rocks Eve with a single attack. Hell, it's Sabertooth, it's not the first time.

With Rusty's gay brother the minstrel having cooked the snow boy to perfection with a blazing spell he memorized in the past and with Gray resolving to fight him sooner or later (obvious foreshadowing, a "Gray vs Rufus" is likely to come up soon...), Ichiya goes on to describe the Bunny Man as Pegasus' "secret weapon"... Just as Hibiki and Ren start wondering whether the fluffy animal really is a member of their guild. What was I saying before... Cheating, right?

At long last, the third match is announced... And LAXUS finally descends into the sandy field to confront Raven Tail's "Armor Guy" Alexei! It's obvious that, with someone important and epic as Laxus, you can't just let Raven Tail cheat, right? That's what most people think, as Yajima warns Lahar to watch out for Iwan Dreyar's guild and stop the match if he notices something wrong, Bisca keeps watch on Iwan from afar with her sniper rifle (hot sniper for the win!) and the Thunder God Tribe (together with Lisanna, indefeasible due to a pair of binoculars) controls the rest of Raven Tail. Armed to the teeth, guys! Nice going! Mavis goes on to make a nakama speech too, but none gives a fuck.

The gong is played, and the battle starts... With Alexei rushing to Laxus before he can do anything and striking him in melee. That was just dumb luck, Laxus will... take another unarmed strike. And then a Magical one. And then another melee one. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Is this a joke?! It can't be! Your writer and the Fairy Tail members are left blank as Laxus is unable to defend himself from a barrage of blows... This is a joke... A goddamn one... It can't be.

Don't worry. It's not happening. As Laxus collapses on the sandy ground, an unscathed Laxus is shown standing near him.

...

Alright, again, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Alexei, who hasn't moved yet, goes on to explain that what the two of them and the audience are seeing is a battle between illusions which he generated, at the same time hiding the fighters' real bodies from sight. Hell, I was sure of that. There's no way Laxus can be beaten like that. The man's guildmates, still unaware of what's going on (unlike your relieved writer), watch on in disbelief as "Laxus" keeps getting beaten, with Laxus (it's supposed to be a pun, keep watch of those """"! Oh hell, double """"! Again!) asks his opponent what's the point of obtaining victory through an illusion. Alexei replies that their goal isn't victory, and that, if their discussion was to please him, "Laxus" might as well rock "Alexei". Laxus is obviously too awesome to accept such a mean offer, and readies to give the real thing a lesson... Only to find the rest of Raven Tail pitted against him. Alexei, at long last, raises his arms and removes his helmet, revealing himself as none other than...

Iwan.

CHEATER!

Sorry girls, no sexy face behind that cold metal. Unless you like huge noses and elven ears, that is.

Fairy Tail's "SWAT team" can't see what's happening. To them, Iwan is still in his place, and so is Raven Tail. Not even Makarov can see through his son's smokescreen, it seems... The Iwan in the public is an illusion, his underlings on the stands are an illusion, the battle between "Laxus" and "Alexei" is an illusion.

Seriously, is Rauleli real at least?

But what is it that Iwan wants from his son? Would you like to try and guess?

a) Women b) Power c) Money d) A smaller nose e) A kakapo bird f) The location of Lumen Histoire

Did you give your answer? If you did, then let's announce which answer was the correct one!

The correct answer was... f, the location of Lumen Histoire! Congratulations to those of you who answered correctly, your prize is... Not being complete idiots, that is.

Laxus, however, has no idea what that weird light which Makarov showed Gildarts is, nor its location. And even if he did, he wouldn't tell his shitty pops! His lightning pouring out, the Thunder God readies to take on his father and his so-called "specialized anti-Fairy Tail guild"... All by himself! Will the epic sparkles of awesomeness prevail? Stick with us, and find out!

Aside from the lousy start (Quatro Cerberus will get you back, Mashima!) and the initial, preposterous impression of Laxus getting beaten, this chapter, if you ask me, was the best one we'd had in a while. I liked how Gray was likely confirmed to fight Rufus in the future, how Fairy Tail came up with a group to keep Raven Tail under check, and, most importantly, LAXUS! Hell, he got some really epic shots among the quality drawings making up this chapter's 20 pages. Keep up the good work, Mashima-sensei (NB: the very same person I previously insulted... Flighty me...)!

III - Chapter 287: Real Family
The time has come for Laxus' first battle in ages to meet its raging start. The S-Class Mage and the team opposing him take some time exchanging words, with Iwan remarking that his guild specializes in forms of Magic which Fairy Tail is weak against, and Laxus replying that Makarov knows everything about them, about what they did in the seven years following Tenrou Island's disappearance, with Raven Tail finally recognizing Gajeel as a double agent. Being smart is you guys' glory, right? Though, wait a second... How come Gajeel could provide information regarding Iwan's guild if he was frozen on Tenrou Island during those 7 years? Guys, do you really expect Mashima to give explanations in a chapter focused on combat? Hell no!

Laxus proceeds to say that Makarov was willing to leave Raven Tail alone, as long as they didn't threaten his guild... Something which seems to shock Iwan. As Fairy Tail's S-Class hints that maybe this is due to fatherly love, Iwan goes on to the offensive, sending whirlwinds of his shikigami towards Laxus while boasting about Lumen Histoire in a disturbed way. The man fends these lousy assaults off with merely some scratches, as Raven Tail's Master orders Obra to take away Laxus' Magic Power. There we go, Abe! It's time for a clash of strategy and tactics!

Laxus easily gets rid of his father's shikigami and then reaches Obra, striking him down before the long-nosed fellow can do anything. Iwan pulls out his first shocked expression.

With their presumably strongest asset down, Raven Tail moves forward its infantry towards the enemy unit: both Flare and Nullpuding assault Laxus, with the former sending her elongated hair against the S-Class Mage, and the latter... Hell, I don't know. While readying to attack, he came up with a "Needle Blast", which, judging from the name, is supposed to be some ranged move... But then, nothing. No flying spikes or anything. He only reappeared later trying to strike Laxus in melee. Can anyone explain? And, since we're at it, why does Flare uses "Crimson Hair" as her attack's name? It's as if Laxus yelled out "Electricity" while striking her down with his Lightning Dragon's Roar. Which, by the way, is something he does in order to avenge Lucy, but not before avenging Gray by knocking Nullpuding out.

And here goes Iwan's second shocked expression.

Raven Tail's las resort resolves to use light equipment to near the enemy by surprise as a commando, with Kurohebi materializing before Laxus with his copied Sand Magic. Seriously, can't you use anything else? I know the battleground's sandy, something which makes it easier to camouflage with it using such Magic, and that sand can be a natural insulator, but still... Just like Jellal lost his match by overusing already used Magic, Kurohebi gets electrocuted and put out of action by one of Laxus' lightnings for being banal in his attack pattern. Next time, try and come up with something more creative. We all know Lightning is weak to Wind. Ah, no, wait... Wrong manga.

Anyhow, Iwan's third shocked expression is the last one, as Laxus nears him, and, ignoring his blabbering about him being his father and family, punches him away with lightning, claiming that Fairy Tail is his real family, the one whose enemies he crushes. Iwan is sent crashing against a wall as his illusions are dispelled, the audience finally able to see what happened.

Laxus is declared victorious while Raven Tail is disqualified from the Games. Iwan's guild failed. If this was a chess match, you'd have the white king best by himself the black king, the bishop, the rook, the knight and... No wait... Iwan's the king, Obra's the bishop, Nullpuding might be the rook (Lol, seriously?!), Kurohebi's the knight... Does this leave Flare as the queen? Man, that'd be a lousy queen in terms of fighting. I hardly think she could navigate all 'round the chessboard. Anyhow, no matter how you look at it, all of them are snatched away by the soldiers, but not before Iwan can tell Laxus something about Lumen Histoire being "Fairy Tail's darkness"... Is it the seed of doubt which Raven Tail's Master wants to implant into his son, after a Dragon Lacrima? Will he want that back as well, sooner or later, to try and make money out of it? How did Makarov's wife/girlfriend look like, seeing as her son sports a gigantic nose and elven ears? The answers to such questions have yet to come.

Oh, and before I forget, it looks like Obra's Exceed-like thing is actually "the real Obra", and "Obra" is instead a container, left lifeless like a deflated tyre as the creature leaves him, escaping capture and stating that he/they'll meet Fairy Tail again. Creepy. Oh, and Orga grins in satisfaction as he sees Laxus victorious. Their match will come, it's a given fact now. I can't wait. Maybe even the Thunder God will actually have to break a sweet before the Black Lightning... Stick with us and find out!

Meanwhile, the third day's fourth match is announced... Fairy Tail's Wendy Marvell vs Lamia Scale's Chelia Blendy! A loli battle! Hold your Remnants at bay! The two clumsily enter the sandy arena and introduce each other... Just as Mavis notices something weird with Chelia's Magic, and, outside the Domus, the entirety of Crime Sorcière, at long last, notices the dark Magic Power they're after, with Jellal rushing towards its direction... Towards the Domus itself. Is this supposed to be a coincidence? Time witll tell!

I don't know what to say about this chapter, really. I mean, Laxus was frickin' EPIC, and the way he rocked all of Raven Tail emerging virtually unscathed was TERRIFYING. But still... Raven Tail sucked. We must say that. Is that all you guys got? Seriously, what's up with this "Anti-Fairy Tail guild"? I didn't see any Anti-Fairy Tail Magic there, you know. Or is appearing pathetic to move the notoriously sensitive Mages from Fiore's former strongest guild (which is likely to achieve such status again soon) your secret strategy?

Oh, and Iwan. Iwan, Iwan, Iwan, Iwan. What the hell were you doing? You're Makarov's son and Laxus' father, can't you do something serious? Is casting illusions your only talent, can't you be a bit awesome in actual combat? I'm seriously hoping you did that on purpose, or... Dammit.

Anyhow, I'm wondering how the battle between the two gals will work out, and whether Chelia really is the source of the dark Magic Power tormenting Jellal and his Angels. Yes, I just called them Jellal's Angels. Any problem with that?

Questions and doubts aside, this chapter was well drawn, with some notably awesome pictures of Laxus. The 2-pages one in which he finished off his father looked a bit weird, though... Strange positioning. Oh, and after Cana's previous Cover, this time we get Lisanna showing off her feline Take Over. Purrrrrr.

IV - Chapter 288: Wendy vs Chelia
The battle of the loli nears its start. Lyon gloats about Chelia's power with Gray, while Chapati shows a little excessive enthusiasm about the incoming clash. Could it be that... Naaaaaaah.

And... Here we go!

Resolving to give it her all, Wendy empowers herself with Vernier and then attacks her opponent with Sky Dragon's Claw. Chelia dodges and then, much to everyone's shock, generates black wind, sending it against Wendy with her Sky God's Boreas.

WHAT???!!!

Yeah, that's right.

Chelia is another God Slayer, harnessing the same element as Wendy. Soooo... A little girl using an exclusive type of Magic related to air gets pitted against a little girl using an exclusive type of Magic related to air.

Original.

Hell, this is lame as... well, as hell. Out of ALL TYPES OF INTERESTING MAGIC Chelia could use, she just gets a cheap ripoff of Wendy's? LAAAAAAAME.

I'm so frickin' disappointed that I won't tell you about the following clash, involving an exchange of nearly identical attacks causing slight damage to both fighters. Chelia shows a battle-loving side, while Chapati grows hornier and hornier. At some point, Wendy proves herself capable of using one of the special techniques Porlyusica gave her books for, employing Shattering Light: Sky Drill, a cheap combination of Erigor's hurricane barrier and Caelum's blast, to seemingly knock Chelia out... This until the God Slayer stands back on her feet unharmed, having healed her injuries with her Magic, much like Wendy usually does with others, and readies to continue the battle with the exhausted Dragon Slayer. Everyone goes "Surprised Oooooooh!", and Lyon gloats again. "Yawns" Yeah, great.

As Doranbolt watches on in disbelief, someone accidentally bumps into him while passing by and apologizes. Hey, look, it's Jellal/Mystogan, wondering whether Chelia is somehow connected to Zeref, and realizing Wendy's in danger! Lucky of him to bump into one of the only persons not associated with Fairy Tail aware of the real Mystogan's fate... Not to mention one wearing a full Rune Knight officer uniform. JELLAL, YOU'RE A FRICKIN' IDIOT!!!

What to say, this chapter was a disappointment. I frankly expected Chelia to have more interesting Magic, not merely a cheap ripoff of Wendy. In addition, I don't think God Slayer Magic fits her. Jellal's idiocy was also disappointing, since he's not supposed to be stupid at all.

Oh, and since we're at it, Orga's ALMOST confirmed to be a God Slayer, if his black lightning wasn't enough: he's one of the only individuals shown with an amazed expression when Chelia reveals her black wind. Great, so we should be expecting another Dragon Slayer vs God Slayer battle. Hell, at least Orga's moves aren't cheap copies of Laxus'.

Well-drawn chapter with a 2-pages panel and a cute Cover portraying Wendy with some large plushies.