Template:Family Tree/February 2015

 ''Welcome back, readers! It seems you guys liked the last issue of Family Tree so now I bring you the next. For those who are reading this for the first time, our least favorite rapper IamJakuhoRaikoben once made a family tree blog on the wiki to depict how our "family" was born. Beginning with him (and not the founder Retro7) and ending with the generation of Mega (among others), we saw how this wiki's weird and perverted nature began.  Rai even once made a subsequent blog for registration to a larger family tree, and at first, many people signed up to be on it. However, like most of Rai's projects, and his life in general, it stalled for a long time before it completely and utterly failed, going nowhere at all. We got an issue depicting the generations of the wiki from Chaos to Jakuho last month, so now we take a look at the next generation, which can be described as the Worst Generation of Fairy Tail Wiki. Before anyone whines about not being on the tree, please note that not everyone can be on it, and even those that can will not be on it immediately. It's a monthly article till further notice, so there are gonna be a lot of generations featured. As such, do kindly shut up and read =) So now,

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With his rebellious phase having begun, Rai began disobeying his mapa more and more with each passing day. He resenting having to take orders, believing his mapa should be more than capable of massaging its own feet. However, Chaos had enough of its child's disobedience and arranged with Ishthak a plan to have Jakuho and Ishthak's son Rauleli thrown in jail. The plan was to lure them willingly with their favorite foods: fried chicken and quesadillas, respectively. The plan was a success and the two were trapped in a cell while Chaos and Ishthak returned to work.

Bored and incredibly horny, Rai forced himself upon Rauleli and penetrated the young macarena-dancer in places he never knew he had. Their intercourse sessions were consistently long, painful and shockingly loud. So loud, in fact, that the shockwaves created from their violent intercourse began slowly destabilizing the structure upon which Chaos' prison was built. Over the course of a week, the prison slowly crumbled and with one final thrust, Jakuho was able to break out of the prison, while also satisfying Reli in a way that the latter believed nobody could ever do so again.

Free, the two returned to Fairy Tail Wiki to resume their work and to also take revenge upon their parents. However, their time in prison left Jakuho with more than he bargained for, as he learned one morning that Rauleli had somehow impregnated him. Chaos was similarly bewildered but laughed for the first time in its life, as it began thinking about the pain Jakuho would endure when giving birth to his baby as Chaos did when it gave birth to Ishthak. However, much to Chaos' dismay, Jakuho gave birth one week later in an entirely pain-free procedure. Assisted by his mid-wife Rauleli, Jakuho gave birth to a similar looking Hispanic whom he chose to name Omega natsu2

Omega natsu2, whom he nicknamed "Mega", appeared to be something different from his parents in certain ways. While he was a competent worker when asked to perform his jobs for Fairy Tail Wiki, he also appeared somewhat retarded. His lack of reading abilities, coupled with his impulsive nature, worried Jakuho as he believed his son might one day fail when it came to work. However, Mega proved soon after that no such thing would happen and so the two moved into an apartment together, sharing the same bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, as Jakuho could not afford anything bigger.

In one bizarre incident, Jakuho planned to cook dinner but, fed up of fried chicken, insisted upon purchasing pasta and sauce for Jakuho to cook. However, due to his retarded mind, he did not check the expiration date on the sauce. As such, Jakuho was forced to whip up his own sauce using methods which are currently considered classified. While Jakuho was cooking, Mega barged into the kitchen, demanding that his father return the watermelon that he took from Mega's personal fridge. As the two began fighting, and the sauce was boiling, the young men crashed into the stove and spilled the sauce upon themselves, subsequently slipping on the floor and knocking themselves out. Upon awakening, they located a strange manifestation nearby. A young man had somehow appeared in all the mess, willing to help out. The two named the young man Aldarinor, nicknamed DaRinor, whose first mission was to convince Jakuho never to make his own pasta sauce again.

Meanwhile, Tutles was once again suffering from an identity crisis. To cope with this, he invented a new personality for himself. This one was called -jabberjay and was classified as female. Though he attempted to hide his identity in an attempt to truly be "-jabberjay", Rauleli knew the truth and frequently spread rumors about her in an attempt to discredit her. Among these rumors was one that "she" had been brutally raped at a rave party by Mega, who was then contemplating suicide when he found out about "her" dual identity as Tutles. However, nobody seemed to believe Rauleli, much to his dismay. Rumors then sprouted soon after about Rauleli himself, including one that he had been beating up pregnant women and worshiping the Devil in his spare time.

While taking a walk in order to come up with a plan to get people to believe him, Rauleli discovered a stand-up comedian telling jokes in the park. However, nobody cared for his man's jokes, as they were all incredibly lame, such that even the television show Full House looked funny by comparison. Rauleli approached the comedian and offered to tutor him on how to drop his lame behavior and improve his career as a comedian. Gratefully, the comedian accepted, introducing himself as Guilherme Abe, whom Reli would nickname "Abe". With that, the two decided that Rauleli could adopt the struggling comedian. The two departed from the park soon after, but not before Abe collected his belongings in a large cardboard box, which had been his only companion since the FIFA World Cup.

However, this would prove to be a mistake, as later that night, while Abe was in his bed, a pack of feral pedobears suddenly appeared in his bedroom, having some kind of interest in the cardboard box. One by one they latched on to the box and took it away with them. Though tired, Abe attempted to go after the horde of pedobears running off with his box, but found himself unable to. He cried for Rauleli to help him out, and Rauleli did hear his screams and chased the pedobears into the forest, but the elusive bears escaped him in the pitch black of the night.

"My box!" Abe cried in horror, as he knew the pedobears ran off with his precious cardboard box. The only life partner he had ever had was now gone, and he was alone, with only Rauleli to be there for him, and what use would he be when Abe was horny?

Deep in the forest, the pedobears placed the box on a tree stump and gathered around it. Before the stump was a massive tree, where the king of the pedobears resided. Praying to him, the pedobears offered the box as a "virgin" sacrifice, hoping their king would grace them with his presence. After four hours of prayer, the bears were finally heard, as a cackling laughter came from the trees around.

Suddenly, a large beast-like creature jumped from the massive tree. Wearing sunglasses and a pink boa, the king of the pedobears had finally made himself known, and was now ready to shake up the Fairy Tail Wiki. Looking at his loyal followers, the king said only one thing to them.

"Wassup, Faggots!?"

The next generation is lead by the king of pedobears. What would this generation be called? The Perviest Generation Hungry's Generation The Generation That Shouldn't Have Been The Michael Jackson Generation